Friday, April 28, 2006

Sappy post- Consider yourself pre warned

So I have been thinking about home lately.
I realize my family is not getting any younger and I really feel like I am missing out.
My baby sister is turning 19.
I remember what I was like when I was 19, I miss that I am not there with her to help her through things.
I miss my brothers and I am always wondering how they are doing. How they are "really" doing, in talking to them I always get "fine" and "nothing new"
I miss my mom.
The last time I saw her she felt so fragile in my arms. Smaller, older, so strange that the longer we are away from each other the more I want to be near her.
Losing my grandpa just before Christmas a year back made me be the adult in our relationship. Its funny how I realize so many of my traits I get from my mother. She is one of the most stubborn people I know, and as the hubby would say to me when I am being really frustrating "You are your mothers daughter"
I miss my friends. I miss seeing Hailey and Brody (my BF babies) grow up. I know they know who I am but I wish I could see them, as well as Sal more often I even wish we could talk more often. I miss Sara and I wish the best for her and her journey.
I miss the friendships that I have let slide. There is no excuse for it and I am sorry for that.
Sarah B. I miss you. We were great friends at one point and I am not really sure what happened with us? I can imagine I was caught up in my own life and what was going on at the time, you have always been a great friend to me and for letting things "slide" I apologize. I wish you the best with everything you do, I get excited about your life and what's going on. I hope you are doing well.
Bryan and I talk once in a while and I am happy for him in his life right now I just wish we talked more often.
Lisa I wish we were closer than we are. I wish you the best too.
"Anne" and I were talking last night, and we talked about how its hard to let go of things. I have let go of a few people in my life and it’s a hard thing to do.
Remember that friend that I had found after 8 years. I emailed her to apologize for what ever it was that caused us to stop talking. She never emailed me back. I was thinking of sending flowers. I realize life is too short to hold grudges. These people have been there for me always and I feel the need to tell them all how much I care.
Keep an eye on your mail boxes.
I miss my dad. He's been really sick lately and he will not tell me what's going on with him. I always get the short version so I do not worry but I still feel like I never get "the whole" truth.

I think I just need to plan a vacation. In June it will be a year since I have been home.

Is it ever too late?
Do my friends and family think of me as often as I am worring about them?


Anne said...

You definitely need a vacation. Plan two while you are at up there and one down here. (BIL is totally invited btw)

You know..I think there is something about springtime that makes us get this way. I know that I have been a weep-monster for days now.

I hope you get to plan that vacation soon..


Dont be too sad today..kay?

T-girl said...

No it is never too late and YES they do think of you as often as you think of them! I was in the military for 10 years and can relate, I am now back home and it is different but nice. My in-laws are moving up here in a few months and it will really be different, all in all thought... that may suck and I may have to move away agian! LOLOLOLOLOL

Sarah Jayne said...

Hey babe! I read you almost every day, so yes - I do think about you :) And I am making it here in O-town! There's ups, and there's downs but I'm definitely on a up right now.

I can pinpoint the moment when we started taking separate paths - it happens - but it was never hurtful so don't EVER feel the need to apologize. We have some great stories - and that's what friendships are all about!

Though the blog is going on a hiatus til mid-may - I'll have plenty to write about when it comes back to life! I just have to go into hiding for a little bit - hehe.

NExt time I plan on taking a vacation on West, you are the first person I will call babe! xo

Battlerocker said...

I agree with t-girl. It is never too late. And I think if you could ever learn exactly how much your friends and family think about you, you would be amazed. You seem a caring and considerate person, and people become so only by being surrounded by others of the same type. Plan your vacation and enjoy it!

Your Baby Sis said...

We all miss u too. And even if we live so far, i know i can always count on u if i ever need help. u're the only sister i have and u're the best one i know! i love u so much!

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