Friday, March 17, 2006

Reasons to never "try" an employment agency!!

1) The first time I went in was when I first became legal to work in the US they had me do a bunch of testing (typing, 10 key, Excel) and then I never heard from them, and they never returned my calls.

2) I went back when all the drama started and I needed to get a job FAST and this time I called them insistently to send me to interviews.

3) On one call I inquired and I am sure there was an undertone to my voices as I inquired "You are an employment agencies right? You are supposed to find me a job right? This is not rocket science and I do speak proper English?"

4) When I finally marched my desperate to get a job ass into the office to confront "The Employment agency bitch" looking after my case, I was informed that "I have been sending out your resume and I am not getting any bites on it"
Me "Oh that's funny cause I have managed to arrange 4 interviews on my own with the same resume bitch!" (ok maybe I did not say bitch but I am sure my stance showed I meant business)

5) Finally after 2 months they called me for a interview (after of coarse I found a job on my own because I know better)

6) The interview I went to I was told was for a customer service position and even though I had already landed a job, I wanted to see what this job had to offer (need to keep my options open). I arrive at the interview and was told I would be required to do a math test first before the interview. After scanning the "test" I went back to find the HR lady.

"Um excuse me but I have glanced over this test and maybe I am just being silly but am I supposed to know what all of this means?"

"Did the agency not tell you what you were applying for?"

"Yes, they did I was told it would be a Customer Service Position"

She snikers "We are looking for someone in Customer service who is a Technical Chemist"

"OH my goodness I am SOOO embarrassed and upset and I am sorry for wasting your time"

Needless to say I was soo angry!! The lady and me had a nice conversation after the whole "embarrassment" thing.

Her " I am surprise that they did not tell you what the job was for"

Me "And you pay them for this" (actually not what I said but something probably as snarky)

Her "You are the 7th person that They have sent out to me and I told the agency that there was a very extensive math test (periodic tables, gases, calculus with no calculator)

Me "I am not sure what's going on with them but I am rather disappointed myself"

Her "Have you been on any other interviews with this company?"

Me " No, this is the first one they have sent me on in 2 months!"

Her "With all your qualifications and they sent you out just one time in 2 months"

Me "Yeah I thought it strange too"

We made some more small talk and I bowed out gracefully and called the agency to YELL at that stupid women.

I left 3 messages.

She never called back.

I think the joke is on me. Or on them because I have already been offered a job and she loses out on the commission.

Oh and the physical that I went to was a joke. The nurse asked me to take everything off except my bra and panties.** ack I am about to confess that I do not own panties per say, well not what I would consider panties Ie Full bum panties***
Anyways so I am topless and about to take off my pants and stand there in my bra and g-string with my big old ass handing out!!!

Wait for it

I REALIZE MY BRA AND G-STRING DO NOT MATCH!! (to many people this would not matter but to me I am ashamed... **sigh** I have a thing for beautiful bra sets and anyone who knows me would also be disappointed in me!)

So I hesitate and wonder out loud "Why does my ass have to be showing to complete this physical? And I have done a work physical before and have never been required to stand bare ass"

There's a knock at the door. It startles me and I jump (remember I am standing here in my bra about to take off my pants when the doctor comes whoshing in)

"Do I have to take off my pants?" In the best whisper I can munster.

"No your fine"

He checks my heart ,pushes on my belly asks me to touch my toes,

THANK YOU GOD FOR NOT MAKING ME DO THIS IN MY BRIGHT ORANGE G-STRING as I am sure the doctor would have backed away shouting things like "MY EYES!!" or equally as embarrassing "GOOD GOD LADY !!"

But I have come away unscathed and excited about my new job. And VERY excited I was not required to show my big bare ass to the doctor who spent 30 seconds with me. I mean if there were drinks involved or something....


1 comment:

T-girl said...

OMG!!!! TOOO funny!!! Thanks for the laugh! I have to admit I have had the experience of the "employment office" myself! If it makes you feel better in NM (where I was living at the time) the guy told me, "don't worry about, there is nothing around here for you, you are too qualified to do anything, so just enjoy your check!!!! Oh and if anyone asks just tell them you are looking!"

Thanks by the way for stopping by! To answer your question: no, I am new to blogging! I look forward to seeing you around, I will be stopping by frequently I am sure! :)

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