Monday, January 30, 2006

This is my life- 13 injections later

I went back to the "pain management" doctor today for some more injections to my spine. Lots of fun. Only 13 this time. I am really emotional today though. I have been told to stay in bed to not "aggravate" the inject sites. I have also been told that if this round of injections does not work I am up shit creek.
Basically there is nothing left the modern medicine can do for me. I have to live with the pain.
I have been given strict doctors orders that I must go to the gym 5 days a week to do cardio. He says because I am young and healthy I do not drink or smoke that the best "pain management" for me it to stay fit.
Also the Vicodin he says will not work with the spasms I have. "DUH" I have been telling the other doctor this for 6 months.
He says the parts that are injured (3torn ligaments and 2 compressed discs and one protruding disk at t-8) will always cause problems.
I have been damaged beyond repair. He says even having the disks fused together in my neck may offer some relief but there are no guarantees.
Just my luck. I cried on the way home. This really sucks! I guess I have to be optimistic though and think of the glass half full ( I have been hearing this a lot lately).
I am lucky it was not worse (if that's at all possible)
I am lucky I can still walk.
I am lucky I have a high threshold to pain.(I barely flinched today)
I am lucky I have a supportive husband (although sometimes I think he's ready to throw the towel in too)
I am lucky that I worked for a HUGE corporation and everything has been taken care of.
I'm lucky.
I will still cry though, I figure I am entitled to that. And then I will be strong and wipe away the tears and realize there is nothing I can do about the situation and let life continue.....


coffeygirlb said...

What happened to your back? I guess I am too new to your site to know. Sorry about all the shitty shittiness.

Shann said...

I love you....sending hugs...can you feel them????

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