Wednesday, August 09, 2006

The fuckers that are EARWIGS

Because its SOOO embarrassing I need to tell people the story of the ASSAULT/VIOLATION of the earwig climbing into my bed.
Well it happened once and I was like WHAT THE FUCK.
And then it happened again, I jump outta bed (I am such a light sleeper) ripe the covers back flip on the lights, much to the surprise of the husband who rolled over slowly, looked up at me like I was in fact crazy and went back to sleep.
I squish the little fucker in a Kleenex and try to go back to sleep.
As if you can sleep after this is the SECOND violation of this sort in less than a month. I am traumatized the husband does not remember the incident at all and thinks I make it all up.
So I starting thinking why do these little buggers like me?? Why do they never climb on him? He would be more fun and has a hairy chest to play in but they prefer to climb on my hairless arms (I shave them see this post).
Then it dawns on me, our apartment is pretty dry and the 2 times they have assaulted me its when I went to bed right after a shower and had wet hair.
AHHH it makes sense now. So I am telling this earwig grossness to a colleague cause she pointed out behind my desk that there is a family of cockroaches living in the trap that was set and she happens to mention to me that earwigs burrow into your head and lay babies.
Thus an intense search of the internet while I do weebie jebbie dances in my pants cause the proximity these little fuckers came to my head and the fact that my hair was wet was quite some drama.

The name earwig is derived from a European superstition that these insects enter the ears of a sleeping person and bore into the brain. This belief is totally unfounded. Earwigs develop from egg to adult through gradual metamorphosis with four to five nymphal instars or stages.

Weehhwww so no earwig babies in my ears. I have DOUSED the house in RAID and hopefully there will be no more violations of the fuckers.
And if there is we are going to have some serious issues because even now if a friggin hair brushes my ear/leg/face while I am sleeping I jump up like the crazy I am thinking it’s the family and they are back.


PS if anyone has any tips to exterminate these fuckers other than bathing in RAID please let me know


insanity said...

EEWWW,I hate to tell you but earwigs are hard to get rid of. Jason freaks when he sees them too.(as well as spiders) Dumping half a can of raid seems to do the trick for him. I shall consult the powers that be(mom) and see what she says....

Lisa said...

I'd be freaking....I'm not even afraid of bugs....but I'm not willing to share my bed with them....

Time to call your aprtment complex and request an exterminator...pronto!!

Anne said...

Oh my god. Burrow into your EAR?? Into your head?? Why did you tell me this? I swear I can feel little bugs in my ears right now..


EWWWW oh my godd!!!!!!!!! k i slept in my sister's room for like a week and OMG it was scary they look like scorpions we slept with earplugs and our socks pulled up!!! CHAAAAA! and also I WAS SCARED :)

Julia said...

They are nasty creatures that appear out of NO WHERE. They are really fast crawlers and give me serious heebie geebies with their claws and slithery centipede movements. For some reason they have taken a liking to my room, which is located in the cool, damp basement. I also sleep with ear plugs... just in case! Pray for me!

Sterling said...

joey man and julia are my sisters. and we sleep with these bugs crawling around in our room. ewww naaastyy!! its not cool. we saw one killed it and slept with earplugs that night. then we googled them not long ago and saw when just flipping through info they crawl in ur ears and lay bugs, we saw it and did the heebie jeebie dance screaming and hyperventalating in my case. we already have a mouse issue in the floors boards above us, and a leak of the pipe above us, its always interesting in this room. now earwigs keep us awake. we tape up small holes and plan to tape up near the window. i am gonig to put long socks over my P.J bottoms. and then we might sleep tonight. of course we will wear earplugs too. Julia and Joeyman and checking for earwigs now and i hear them screaming in terror as they mistake a hairclip as a bug. ewww i hate those MoFo's/

p.s i think they found another earwigs. craap!

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