The red cross makes me pee on myself

I can not believe I am about to confess this to you. But I have to. And it makes me laugh at myself so I need to tell you all.
So to set you up for this we are in Houston, day 5 after hurricane Katrina working in a shelter with 350,000.00 evacuees.
And I have to pee.
I may have let on a little that I am a bit of a germa phoebe. Well not really but for some things MOST DEFINITELY.
Ok so I have to pee and I go to the ladies room, I frantically search the stalls for some Toilet Covers (who am I fooling 350,000.00 people here for 5 days they have clearly run out of toilet covers) so I search for a stall with toilet paper even. NONE!
By this time I am doing the pee dance as I run from stall to stall looking for TP with my elbows no less (as if I could touch that), I look for hand towels NONE of those either (this place was gross and smelled like a men's locker room after the big game and someone shit on the floor for fun)
I dug into my pockets and because I am rarely without Kleenex (I know I am weird back off) I found some Kleenex, more clearly A as in one and not plural.
So what's a girl to do? Does she cover the seat with the 4 inch tissue?
Well when said female attempts to stretch the 4 inch tissue to its limits but unfolding it to make it bigger so I could put some on the toilet in case I had to touch it and leaving enough to be able to wipe and then actually get out of the stall without touching anything...

AHH SHIT! She drops it on the floor, as I look in despair at the now soiled gross tissue I have run out of options.

Squat and drip dry! (don't look at me like that you have ALL been there)
I assume the position and teetering cautiously I let her rip AHH sweet relief at last.
AND THEN
Yep I slip, lose balance and then suddenly I am no longer teetering on my tip toes strategically placed as to be certain not to touch anything and I am fighting with all hell not to touch the toliet or the walls...
And I pee on myself.

OK Laugh its funny. And because I have no shame I walking from the bathroom laughing out loud at myself. I walk up to Elena as she was the first person I ran into that I "sort of" knew.
And I confessed the whole story through tears of laughter.
Turns out she had done the same thing.

What made me think of this??

Well as I mentioned before I was going out to Big Bear Lake with the Red Cross to do a little community building about fires and earthquakes and we are in the middle of no where so guess what happened?
This time it was a PORTA POTY... Nuff said they are gross.

So I cautiously assume the teetering position and I have to go bad because I was trying to tell myself that in fact I could wait another 3 hours till I got home or even back to civilization.
And it happened... Again...
A car goes whizzing by and unexpectedly caught off guard thinking someone had just whipped open the door the the poty and all was exposed.
No just a car going by and me peeing on myself... Again...