Spray tan survivor,..

So yeah who goes for a spray tan and almost passes out....

**Waves hand in air***

Its a funny story really, so I get there this cute little bee bobby thing comes out to greet me and takes me to the "tan room" she explains to me to change into whatever I wanted to wear or just get naked and she would be right back.

So to prevent tan lines I am standing BUCK ASS naked in a mirrored room when I hear this knock at the door "Are you ready?"

Naked as the day I was born standing there in a mirrored room this little thing comes in and explains the spray stuff will be cold and tinted so she can see where she is spraying it, it all seems innocent enough she starts spraying my airpits, stomach, boobies and then I hear the words.

"Ok lunge as if you were in the gym with your leg to the side"

I think I may have blushed. Just a little as this little thing then gets on her hands and knees and I am NEEKID and she is BETWEEN my legs with her little sprayer and I break out into song....

"Getting to know you....getting to know all about you..."

And then she asks where I get my cootchie waxed.... Yep. Just like that, my freshly waxed cooter is being noticed for the pretty that it is.... I go on to explain I do it myself, and she was in SHOCK... Its that good....

You have to laugh at the situation really. She told me stories of shy women who come in there with FULL BATHINGSUITS and such. I think why would you waste the money?

Anyways so far so good. I do not look like a Ooompa however this sticky feeling sucks ass because I can not shower for 6 hours to get the "full effect".

And because I stood there so long and it was so warm and the spray stuff..anyways.. I had to get onto my hands and knees a couple of times to avoid passing out... How classy is that, on my hands and knees in a mirrored room NAKED...

We are T-minus 2 hours to airport time!!! WEEHOOO

Oh and I am taking my laptop so there will be many updates...maybe some drunk updates from Vegas and California!!