So I finally did it.
I left my job with no intentions on going back. Ever.
Yesterday was a hard day for me, a LONG time ago when I was working for a company I was not happy with, a manager I was not happy with, life in general at that time was interesting. Anyways one morning when I was going out the door to work I all of a sudden felt sick, my heart started to almost beat out of my chest, I got dizzy and started having chest pains.
Well I had not lived at home for years but they first person I call is my mom. She is there in mock speed and I am rush to the emergency room.
MASSIVE panic attack. Yep. Crazy. I am not one to usually to play the drama queen and this was very scary and very real. My dr gave me some meds after "observing" me for a couple of days and I was aloud to go home when it was established I was not a threat to myself or others...
Lead up to yesterday. My manager has been out of town all week and was due back this morning... About 10am I started having chest pains. I started to sweet and my heart was racing. I call the husband.
"Babe, remember WAY back when I told you about the panic attack I had FOREVER ago?"
"Well I am going to leave today and not come back, I have just barfed and my heart is beating out of my chest, I have the shakes and I feel that same way I did that morning..."
"I love you babe, you need to do what you need to do. I love you"
So with that I went back to my desk, got my things told the next in charge that I was going home sick and then this morning I left a message for my manager to call me when she was in the office so I could come in a talk to her.
I will not go back in I will talk to her on the phone and pick up my things on Monday.
I feel sick just waiting for the call... And I also feel guilty for being this irresponsible....
*** Edit to add... I just talked to her.. She says she understands COMPLETELY!! It was so strange but such a HUGE relief.. I go in @ 2pm to "talk" and to get things in order. After barfing all morning and worrying about this its all about to be over... wish me luck***
1 month ago