Is it just me??

Or does this make anyone else really angry?

I just do not understand how people can be so disrespectful when they are out shopping.

Now I understand something may fall here and there but REALLY pick it up at least!!




I was standing in one spot and physically had to WALK over stuff there was so much on the floor. And I attempted to help pick it up but can you believe it? I mean you would not do that at home would you?


Or maybe they would? Some people just have no class and this was at MACYS!! It frustrated me so much I left the mall...ha ha so you know it bothered me lots!

You know its bad when your husband notices

So sitting at the Dr office today waiting to see the doctor the hubby leans over and says "umm babe your eyebrows are starting to look like mine..." (not sure what I am doing with my face in this picture)




Sorry about the close up

But to prove his point... Yeah they have gotten REALLY out of control!


But in my defense the last time I got them done was a DISASTER (you know the lady with crossed eyes?) and I needed to let them fill in as to have them fixed... I think its time...

I have also posted on the other blog about todays round of Chemotherapy if you would like to stop in and see





PS If you want to know why I have to cut my eyelashes I will tell you my secret.

All set up for Christmas

So I have mentioned on the blog before that when the hubby and I started dating (13 years ago) my grandma suggested we buy a Christmas ornament when ever we travel and to get at least one new one each year for the tree.

See this is SUCH a fabulous idea because every ornament on the tree has a story.

But see I am a bad Christmas person. I LOVE Christmas. I LOVE seeing everyone's decorations, I love getting into the spirit I LOVE getting our new ornament every year but I am a little ashamed to admit this......

This is the FIRST TIME IN 7 years (yes all the years we have been married) that I put up a tree **hangs head in shame**

Yes you see I have never "bothered" because of the mess and I am so SORRY I never did! I popped in The Cinderella Story (with Drew Barrymore) and started to decorate.

The before:




And then the after:




I so wish I would have done this forever ago....


Sorry for the bad pictures this one was taken at my mom's house the first year we were dating 1998 (akk I am so old) I remember this picture and if I recall correctly that I was wearing *gasp* overalls! Ugg


And this one is one of my new favorites. I am not sure if you remember our Christmas morning last year? Yeah our furnace caught fire and at 5am Christmas morning and 15 guys from the fire department came out to investigate? You can read about it here?
I just thought the fire dog was a fabulous way to remember that year?



And this one is from Mount Rushmore...

I also realize now that I have dragged everything out that I NEED MORE STUFF!! I need WAY more lights for the tree, and a tree skirt, and a wreath for outside.. the list is endless!

So I totally understand if you want to start collecting a new one each year too... Its so cool! I am getting old though so all the ornaments are marked with dates and placed so my crazy brain can remember where they are from....

Now that the tree is all set up I will show you some more of my fabulous decorations and the stories behind them.

People are so disorganized!

Very few things really frustrate me in this world (well that is a lie but to really frustrate me takes quite a bit).

Disorganization is one of them! Serious.

I booked a Doctors appointment for 10am this morning.

I booked this appointment over a week ago.

Well I show up this morning to meet my new doctor and guess what? The doctor is not in on Thursdays.

humm what?

So I tell the girl "I have a 10 o'clock appointment"

Girl "Humm no you do not, we do not book appointments for Thursdays because the doctor is not here"

Me "Oh could you check, because I am pretty precise with stuff like this (considering the practice I am getting)"

Girl "Oh yeah, look you are booked at 10am. That's weird we do not book appointments for Thursdays"

I am a little frustrated to say the least. I show up 15 minutes before I am supposed to be there and to even GO to the doctors is huge for me.

Anyways she explains she has no appointments till after the holidays...

I ask "Could you please check again for me (I smile nice and try not to sound exasperated under my breath)? I really need to see the doctor?"

And voila I am in at 8:45am tomorrow morning...

Does this seem strange to anyone else??

Falling apart

So yesterday was a day like any other.

I ate lunch at work and it was yummy I had shrimp and fries, I must also add that I have eaten seafood about 4 days a week since birth.

About 2 hours after I ate I walked into the kitchen and felt light headed. Then I broke out in HUGE hives, turned bright red. The paramedics came to check me out and said that they think it was a shellfish allergy and I had some benadryl.

They also made me have my husband come pick me up or I was leaving in a ambulance. I was feeling fine but about half way home I started having chest pains. And trouble breathing.

So yep off to the ER with me. The hubby was behind me because I did not want to leave my car at work.

They originally thought it could have been a blood clot in my heart, they thought this because of all the symptoms and the fact that it took us 13 hours to get home at thanksgiving which could have caused the clot.

No blood clot.

They moved on to allergy's. Which I have NEVER had. EVER. I love seafood, I always have but now I am the proud owner of an epipen because there is a "chance" that I have developed an allergy to shellfish.

And they have NO idea what is wrong with me. And I am still having the chest pains.

We touched a bit on the anxiety bit, well you know because there is nothing going on in our lives. and I had another "attack" while shopping today.

So I need to find a doctor to figure out what is going.

Its all scary. And yes I cried. The hubby is going through so much more than I can ever imagine and I am falling apart at the seams.....

When it rains it pours I just wonder what the frig is wrong with me. And both times my chest hurts and I lose my breath I am not doing anything weird or worrying about anything?

Sound strange to you?

The baby question?

So we always knew we were not going to have children. I have posted about it a few times and the reasons we could never have children

But now that my husband has Cancer this has opened a whole can of worms for me. Although I have been told that I can not have children I have this "hunch" that this challenge that we are up against. This thing called Cancer has nothing on me.

Since the news (Actually even before we heard the news I was teasing him about wanting a baby) I have had this overwhelming urge to get pregnant. TO try to get pregnant.

We have made the choice (well not really my body has) to not have babies, but now that the chance after Chemo and radiation will be gone forever?

He thought it would be crazy for me to get pregnant in case something happens to him not to mention all the complications I would have?

Am I so crazy?

I have come to the terms that I will never be a mother. I have embraced it, cried about it and moved on. It was not in gods plans for us to be parents.

But I would be lying if I said I had not put a lot of thought into this.

The doctor brought up the option to bank his sperm for later use and I cried when we talked about it.

I was worried that even though we did not choose to have children when the choice is taken away from us I was not sure about how I felt.

But after a long discussion we both agree everything happens for a reason. Good and bad. And we are staying positive about EVERYTHING!

It just sucks that I have to grieve about it again.....
This picture is from the April fools day joke we emailed our family and friends you can read about it here.

Chemo starts tomorrow

I have been such a bad blogger. But I assume you will all forgive me because I have a little bit going on in my life.

My hubby starts Chemotherapy tomorrow morning and I will be updating the other blog every day while we go through this you can see it here I have added the pretty new link under my profile.



Also I would LOVE to add if anyone is looking or shopping for a FABULOUS new blog design I would HIGHLY recommend Miranda over at little sailor designs



Made with graphic elements by Kristin Cronin-Barrow


She is AMAZING and I LOVE what she did with very little input.

I would also like to share the goodness in people. I had emailed Miranda about a price for getting a header thing with tabs for the top of the cancer blog so it would be easier to navigate for everyone.

AND SHE DONATED HER TIME! She did the blog completely for no charge and I could not be more thankful. It turned out amazing and I LOVE it. Like LOVE!

Thank you Miranda you have no idea what this means to me.

I love me some free shoes!

So I think I have mentioned a time or two that I have some fabulous friends.

Well one of said friends from Canada, crossed the boarder to go shopping in NY and she bought lots of fabulous stuff from Kohls.

She sends me an email that she "Has this thing called Kohls cash for $50?" and could I use it seeing how she would not be back in the US to spend it!

WHAT!! YES!! It was expiring in a couple of days so she mailed it off to me and even though it was expired Kohls let me use it!

So I treated myself to some FABULOUS boots!



And they are brown. Something I would have NEVER bought for myself because I am weird like that and all the shoes I own I do not have a single pair of brown ones!! I love brown on everyone but me. But seeing how they were free and fabulous I am going to learn to love them!

Oh and have you ever ordered anything online at Kohls? NEVER DO!! I went to the store and they did not have my size so I ordered them online 13 days ago and THEY ARE ONLY SHIPPING ON FRIDAY!! So it will be almost 3 weeks before I get my fabulous boots....

But they are so pretty!

Look out Martha Stewart!

Oh yes I made Turkey cupcakes for Thanksgiving...

I saw it somewhere and I just though they were the cutest things! They were super easy to make to!

1. Just make regular cupcakes (totally forgot I was going to blog about it and got too excited to take a picture of just the cupcakes)

2. This is my super budget fabulous icing thingamajig. I put all the icing into a ziplock bag that I had cut a corner from.

You have to make the icing thick to hold the candy corn.

I used 3 WHOLE things of icing for 24 cupcakes (they were all free because they went on clearance for $.34 and I had $.40 off coupons!)I saw them done with vanilla and chocolate icing and they were just as cute! The orange is from the Halloween clearance.

3. They need a big dolop of icing for the head


4. Add the candy corn to the tails (also free on clearance!)


5. Give it a mouth

6. And then eyes (if you look closely you will see my eyes are actually bats from the free frosting)

That's it... All my Turkeys ready to go!


It was funny I told my SIL that I was bringing Turkey cupcakes to thanksgiving dinner and she said "umm I am not sure how well turkey cupcakes will go over?"

Its official

Its been confirmed its Hodgkin s Lymphoma Stage 2

He has 2 minor surgeries on Friday the first is to take some bone marrow to test it to make sure the cancer is not in his bones and the second it to "install" (sounds like something you would put in a car?) a portacath into his chest to administer the chemotherapy.

To read the whole story you can go here.

We are both pretty happy about it. If it has to be Cancer at least it is something that is treatable with a 90% success rate! So YAY for Hodgkins!

I know it sounds weird to be happy about it, I mean we had already got our heads around the whole "Cancer" thing and we are just relieved to know what it is and what we are doing to move forward.

Chemo starts within 2 weeks the doctors say.

Thank you all for your support and prayers and well wishes, I can speak for myself when I say I have felt them over the last 2 weeks.

Its hard to explain really. I mean you hear the words Cancer and you want to cry and scream and I never got that. Yes I cried and yes I was angry for a split second but its out of my hands. Its out of our control.

Craig is one of the strongest people I know. He has always been my rock. He NEVER gets sick. I know he will beat this. He has no choice!

My heart has been at piece with it. Now don't get me wrong. I am scared. I am scared to see the man I have spent the last 13 years with get sick. I am scared at the whole chemo and radiation stuff that is about to happen. I am scared that the doctor has explained this will be a 6 month process of chemo and radiation.

But my heart is at peace. I have faith that this will bring us closer as a family, it will truly test our weaknesses. But I KNOW, I know in my heart of all hearts that this is going to be ok!