Saturday, December 11, 2010

The baby question?

So we always knew we were not going to have children. I have posted about it a few times and the reasons we could never have children

But now that my husband has Cancer this has opened a whole can of worms for me. Although I have been told that I can not have children I have this "hunch" that this challenge that we are up against. This thing called Cancer has nothing on me.

Since the news (Actually even before we heard the news I was teasing him about wanting a baby) I have had this overwhelming urge to get pregnant. TO try to get pregnant.

We have made the choice (well not really my body has) to not have babies, but now that the chance after Chemo and radiation will be gone forever?

He thought it would be crazy for me to get pregnant in case something happens to him not to mention all the complications I would have?

Am I so crazy?

I have come to the terms that I will never be a mother. I have embraced it, cried about it and moved on. It was not in gods plans for us to be parents.

But I would be lying if I said I had not put a lot of thought into this.

The doctor brought up the option to bank his sperm for later use and I cried when we talked about it.

I was worried that even though we did not choose to have children when the choice is taken away from us I was not sure about how I felt.

But after a long discussion we both agree everything happens for a reason. Good and bad. And we are staying positive about EVERYTHING!

It just sucks that I have to grieve about it again.....
This picture is from the April fools day joke we emailed our family and friends you can read about it here.

1 comment:

c.e.l.i.n.a said...

I am so sorry about the cancer. I will keep your family in my prayers.

I dont think you are crazy ONE bit for wanting to try, even under the circumstances.

I think it would make me feel more inclined to want a babe.

 
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