Thursday, November 18, 2010

Staying Positive

We are both staying positive and we are in good spirits. You never expect any of this to happen to YOUR family?

He has had his PET scan yesterday, which is where they inject you with the stuff that makes the tumors glow, and we have met with the oncologist and the radiologist oncologist and they are all BAFFLED how he is not sick. He is not showing ANY symptoms of the cancer.

We know for sure he has the tumor in his neck, he has a mass in his chest and he has a swollen spleen.

I forced the doctor to "guess" what stage he though it was at and he said if he had to go with what information he has that "not on record" it would be a stage 3 or 4.

Its all really scary. But it is out of our hands.

We meet with the surgeon today.

The love and support that has outpouring is amazing. We can feel it.

At least I can speak for myself when I say that my heart is at peace with what is about to happen. I know that sounds so weird. And I do not understand it myself. I have had no more than at least 5 people panicking about "are you ok" and to be honest

I am ok.

Its out of our control. Everyone keeps telling me that they can not believe how strong I am being. And they are worried I will fall apart.

I do not feel it. I have let go of the control and I am peace with what is about to happen. I have NO control over what will happen. Its going to happen even if I get angry, and scream, and cry. Its not going to change anything...

Thank you all for your love and support. We are working on a blog that I will share with you all as soon as its up and running. It will have all the information as we get it to share with family and friends and anyone else who may happen upon it. I have started taking pictures to document this journey so that maybe one day it will help someone else going through this.

This is my new mantra:

Hope is not about everything turning out ok. It's about being ok no matter how things turn out


SLM said...

This sounds very similar to something my friend went through her junior year in high school. She had a lump in her neck and in her chest, which turned out to be lymphoma (I don't remember exactly which type.) She underwent treatment and now she is a happy, healthy, and normal college student. She swears that a positive attitude is half the battle, which it sounds like you already have! My thoughts and prayers are with you both, hang in there.

Jessica said...

Wow. I'm not sure what to say other than I completely admire you! His attitude could make all the difference in his recovery. Your positiveness (if that's even a word) will help him so much. I will continue to pray every. single. day for the both of you!!

Kerr said...

I am so so sorry to hear this. You are amazing for being so strong and keeping yourself together. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Frugalista said...

I am glad you are ok. you are right. falling apart won't change a thing. it actually makes it harder. My thoughts are with you. hopefully, he's in a good place to catch this and then get on with life.

Sandy said...

You both are in my prayers. I am glad you are doing so well and keep up that attitude.

Steph said...

I'm glad to hear that you are staying positive. I admire your strength.

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

I'm really hoping to hear some good news from you after you meet with the doctor!

d.a.r. said...

Okay, how on the earth have I been missing your blog for like...ever??? And of course, I finally find the link and come to catch up and oh my gosh, I am so sorry sweetie. You guys are so strong. I am praying hard.

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