Friday, November 05, 2010

Open Letters

Dear downstairs neighbor,

I know I have smiled and said hello to you a few times and ogled after your very cute newborn. I will have no more smiles for you.
I heard you the other day SCREAMING at the baby "STOP CRYING!! ALL YOU EVER DO IS CRY!!" at the top of your lungs.
But who am I to judge I am not a mother. But to scream at a baby???

Sincerly
Dirty looks for you



Dear stinky guy who trained me today,

Take a shower! There is something to be said about a restaurant that would allow such a stinking (and I am not even exaggerating) serving tables.
Also I almost barfed when you REACHED YOUR BARE HAND INTO THE OLIVES!!
Eww your gross. And I can still smell you in my nostrils!

Sincerly
I hope I never have to work "near" you again

Dear Ladies (in general)

I understand the need to "hoover" I get it, I do! But let's be honest IF YOU PISS ALL OVER THE SEAT CLEAN IT UP!!
I understand its an art we all try to master but no one is perfect...

Oh and while I am at it... Flush the damn toilet.

Sincerly
Sick of cleaning up other peoples piss to hover over the toilet

Thats all for today...

4 comments:

Frugalista said...

ha, ha too funny!

Allison @ I heart Change said...

About number three. Ewwwww. That is all.

Your neighbor might just need a break. When Isaac was a newborn sometimes I would have to lay him in his crib and run out to the front porch to jump up and down because he was driving me CRAZY.

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Ugh!! I would not want to clean that up!

Steph said...

I hate when people piss on the toilet seat.

 
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