3 reasons to carry a camera in your purse!

So what do y'all think of these... ha ha.. I really kill myself sometimes.... Not to mention the people looking at me like I was CRAZY as I took these pictures for your enjoyment!!




Oh and I am not as stupid or silly as I look. Except with math... yeah I did my college placements tests yesterday and GUESS WHAT???

I read, write and my grammar (yeah right) is "At or ABOVE a college level" however my math.. not so much... I even laughed out loud at one of the questions and the little old lady that was doing the testing just said "guess at it, everyone else does"

I sure do love me some DEALS!!

So I ventured out to Big Lots and because a Rite Aid in our area went out of business THEY HAD STUFF 90% off!!!

.33 cents!!! For NAIL POLISH! Oh and lip sticks too, and I got some Cloraseptic spray
for .83 cents. I was so EXCITED with my buys and I ran home to show the hubby, who just laughed at me.. And asked what I was going to do with all my nail polishes, that and I was a pack rat!!

The nerve.. Ha ha.. I will wear them a color on each finger and toe!!


Oh and the WHOLE reason I got to meet the FABULOUS Sylivia was THESE!!!




Oh and my new BFF!! And you wonder why I love her? This is from the movie montage we did!!

Sylivia... What more can I say

So this LOVELY lady helped me at Ross the other day... Oh and the funny thing was she sounded JUST LIKE Neapolian dynamite...

Lay off the the crack lady!!!

How did I take such a lovely picture? Well I was SO BUSY laughing that my friend Kelli held her camera right up in her face and said "hummm I really have NO service in here!"

Conversations with the hubby

Story 1:

Me "Hey babe, can you put the laundry from the washer into the dryer? I am too lazy to get out of bed"

Hubby "Sure..... (moments pass) Umm should I hang up this bra for you? So as to not leave you with any more blog materials about how I ruin your shit?"

Story 2:

Hubby "Have you seen that guy at the PT job that you had a run in with?"

Me "Yeah we worked together the other night, you would have been proud of me?"

Hubby "For what?"

Me "Well he asked for help? And the 5 year old in me wanted to rub it in his face that he was a horrible server and he sucked blah, blah but I took the high road. I did what he asked for help with and said nothing more"

Hubby "Wow babe, why did he ask for help?"

Me "Cause he was in the weeds"

Hubby "In the weeds... is that some term you made up? Or is it something known between servers?"

Me "All servers know that term, why would you think I made it up?"

Hubby *snickers* "So if I walked into a restaurant and a server was busy and I asked "Are you in the weeds" they would know what I was talking about?"

Me "YES, they would.. ha ha.. I am going to google it! See In the weeds is on Wikipedia"

Hubby "Just cause its on Wikipedia does not mean its common restaurant verbiage!"

Me "Oh I am SO going to blog about this!"

Did I ever tell you something?

I NEVER clean.

Well its not that I NEVER clean, its just when choosing a husband I seemed to have scored the lottery in husband choosing and HE DOES ALL THE CLEANING!!

Serious.

Vacuums. Baseboards the whole 9 yards.

Oh and he is GOOD... VERY GOOD. He has however been banned from laundry and dishes. Well dishes he WILL NOT DO!! He would eat off of paper plates and forks if we had them in the house. He HATES dishes. And I volunteered to do laundry after a little incident with my bras (what with DD those bitches need to be cleaned properly as to avoid have to spend a million dollars to get new ones that fit again)

It is so seldom that I am even aloud to clean (I do not do it to his specifications) I fought for the right to clean the house today.

Yep and I won.

So what does the wife of the cleaner do on the day she agreed to clean the whole house while the hubby it out.

She sleeps till 7pm!! WTF people. Serious I can not go out and party like I used to...

Off to clean I go!! Oh and the other day the hubby was talking about how he would LOVE a Dyson and I agreed it would be nice and the conversation went like this

Hubby"Babe, we should get a Dyson"

Me "Oh thats a good idea, but $500 for a vacume cleaner? We should wait until we buy our house"

Hubby "It sure would be nice is all I am saying"

Me "Well we have out 5 year anniversary coming up, how about we buy it as a "couples" gift for ourselves!"

Hubby "Babe, serious when are YOU ever going to use it"

"

Goats for hire!!

So umm yeah, when you live in a small town they do not like to invest in landscaping... So they hire goats!!
These little white fences are up everywhere and filled with goats!!
So strange!!

I have no filter..

So umm yeah. If I do not like you, you would know.

For instance I worked the PT job tonight at the restaurant, and I am not saying I am a super star server or anything but I can certainly hold my own.

Well they hired this new guy. He is old. And he is HORRIBLE! For the last 3 shifts I have worked with him I have been "required" to pick up one of his tables.

Tonight one of his tables sat there for 15 minutes!! When I finally (they were eyeballing me) went over to get their orders and to throw in a little jab "How long have you been waiting?"

10 minutes people!! That is not acceptable, so I approach said server and inquire..

"Are you going to talk to table 37?"

""Umm yeah I am going there right now"

"Well don't worry about it, I already served them their drinks, salads, and their appetizer should be out in a minute"

**blank stare from horrible server*** ***Blink**** Blink****

AND THEN HE HAS THE NERVE TO GET MAD AT ME!!!

Dude serious, if I have had time to

a) Get their drink order
b) Bring their drinks
c) Get their food orders
d) Serve their salads
e) Order their food

So I told him as much and he was PISSED. I have to add that I took get pleasure in watching him squirm (you knew it had to be a guy, too proud to ask for help)

And then he yells out "I AM A BETTER SERVER THAN YOU EVER WILL BE"

Which much giggling ensued on my part, as well as anyone else listening....

I did what any other self respecting adult would do and asked him

"Would you like a tissue? Are you going to be ok?"

Ok so what would you do?

I had to leave early this morning for work, we have an early meeting every Thursday. The hubby usually leaves for work earlier than me, its rarely me out the door first...

Anywho...

In my frantic mess to get out of the house I grab my purse, my cell phone off the charger and I am on my way... I notice I have enough time to stop for breakfast and whip out my cell phone just to make sure and notice I have a text message that reads

OMG I HAVE to see you.. meet me in the routunda~

Hummm then I notice THE PHONE IS MY HUSBANDS PHONE AND WHO THE HELL IS TEXTING HIM AT 6:45am saying THEY HAVE TO SEE HIM!!

So I take a breath and think of my next move~~ (I must add that my ears ARE SMOKING) and the crazy, psycho women that lies in all of us came to the surface!!!

Don't look at me like that you know what I am talking about...

Yeah her...


I do what any rational women would do and call home just in time to catch him and "inquire" as to who is texting him from a (832) area code?

He of coarse had NO IDEA, who or what I was talking about. And then worried that he needed his phone for the day and asked how far I was...

Well seeing I was almost to work FREAKING THE HELL OUT (because you have all seen it in the movies or on TV that when a man is cheating and lying to his wife she is usually to naive to notice, that or she is cheating herself.....)

Anyways I digress... When I get to work I text THIS BITCH who is texting my husband that she needs to see him!

Me "Who is this?"

"Oh is this not Saia?"

Me "No"

"Oh my bad"

Me "You still did not say who this was"

"Its Dennis"

So the rational calm women in me thinks "Oh that's smart, nice cover up bitch pretending to be a man so I am off your sent"

I google the phone number to see where it was coming from. (Crazy I know)

Then.... I call from my toll free number from work and sure enough a man named Dennis picked up....

So umm yeah... Wrong number...

And then the hubby comes to pick up his phone and I quickly confess to my crazy shenanigans with the texts and phone calls... And yeah.... I was a crazy lady for about an hour...

He found this VERY amusing to say the least, so he gets his phone and starts flipping through it to see the texts I sent and that were sent back.

And he realizes this (me )crazy bitch erased them because I was trying to hide the evidence of how stupid and jealous (we are talking HUGE jealous and that is SO not like me!) I was at the time....

And then he jokes back with me

"Thanks for my phone, that girl is good I have to go so I can call Denise back"

Jackass... But I love him.

Don't let mom do the wedding invitations!

Ok and one more funny.....



Proof that Men Have Better Friends...

Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning
she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he
told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's
house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.

Only in a small town...

Ummm I have no words.... And this whole no helmet law in my state REALLY scares me...

Did you say pictures?

So I have been a very busy bee.
With stuff going on in the personal life (no worries everything is fine) working 2 jobs and the hubby FINALLY being home until August I have let blogging slide.

But I am back, and I will be posting on a more regular schedule moving forward.. and catching up on blogs because I have been a bad blogger... So for my 3.5 readers.. without further adu

This is what I have been up to... A friend that I previously worked with asked me to do some boudoir photos of her for a grooms gift. Her hubby is a mechanic and everyone has girly posters hanging up in their "offices" and she wanted to do a fun calender for him, and seeing how when we worked together I was always talking about how much I love to take pictures ect. ect. She thought of me.
Here are a few that made it (that I can actually post..ha ha)


It was a very impromtu session if you can call it that, so the lighting and "props" so to speak were a but meager, I would have LOVED to have done something a little bit more staged but I was pleased with the end results...
This one is one of my favs!! What guy does not love a girl in his favorite teams jersey??


And then my friend Kelli and I went to her wedding... And to put it nicely we were a bit overdressed for the occasion...
The bride was BEAUTIFUL!!


(thats Kelli at the top and me on the bottom...for a limited time only....)

The bride's son walked her down the isle and gave her away it was so precious!