Thursday, September 10, 2009

The reason you should never leave your children alone with me...

See even the dog is concerned!!!

"Your going to do what?"

Well I can not believe I am going to share this, well because its not one of my brightest moments. But I have no shame.. And if you can not laugh at yourself then what is there to life?

See this beautiful boy? He is so friggin cute and adorable that when my Sal wanted to go to the gym I jumped at the chance to have some alone time with my godson. In the week that I had already been there I had not heard him cry once. Nope. Not once.

Do you see where I am going with this?

Mom and dad leave. We snuggle, watch a little baby enstien (which he LOVES) I tickle him a little, blow zubbers on his belly. We are having a grand old time!

And then he starts to fuss. And cry. And cry.

Then all I remember about babysitting kicks in:

Is he hurt: Nope
Is he hungry: check (he just ate before mom and dad left)
Is he wet? This is where things get a little interesting.

Yep he is soaked. Problem solved. I grab a diaper from mommys stash by the couch, wet wipes, changing pad. I am ready to go.

Well in my defense its been 10 years since I changed a diaper without supervision. Maybe less but i digress....

Wet diaper removed.

New diaper... humm this is weird? Show tunes on the front? Check? I wonder when they started to put the tabs for the diapers and attach to the back? Humm must make it a little easier to put on?

Sooooo... Sal gets back from the gym (2 hours later) and after another baby melt down where I have to make a bottle. And not any bottle one for a baby that is allergic to milk. So its with formula and the instructions are in Canadian? ha ha, its in ML and says "this many scoops for each ML of water" (but I will come back to this...)

So she walks in and asks "How was it?"

Me "Well it was touch and go there for a minute! He started to cry 2 times on me. Once it was because he was wet and I changed his diaper, the other because he wanted a bottle."

"Umm Sal when did the start to put the tabs for the diapers and make them attach to the back of the diaper? I thought it was weird. The show tunes still go on the front right?"

Sal **blink, blink** "Your kidding right? OMG your not kidding?"

***busts out laughing at me. Fiance joins in****
Exhibit A

He is SOAKED through his diaper. And his pants.....

Exhibit B... And by this point we are all laughing so hard we are crying... Ritchie is in the background laughing and telling me he hopes nothing happens to him and Sal because if I can not even put a diaper on right....

And then mom has to change him UPSIDE down due to my diaper error....

And then it gets EVEN better!!

AND he has taken the BIGGEST poop known to man!!!

It becomes a 2 person job to get this cleaned up.....
And then.. Oh yes this gets better and better... I smell the poop. And its TERRIBLE, I mean how can a stench THAT BAD come from a little guy that small???? I mean really??

AND THEN..... Oh yes.... I start to gag.......

This is not going to be good....

I make it to the bathroom and barf. Yep I barf at the smell of baby poop......

Anb because its SO BAD Ritchie takes a pictures because its too good to pass up....

And after about an hour of recaps (this was hilarious by the way) I told Salinna I made a bottle fro his because after I changed him he was still a little fussy.

Yeah the bottle was WAY watered down. Like I put 2 scoops and there was supposed to be 4.....

Oh yeah. Never going to have kids reason 6786908 and


Steph said...

HAHA!!! That's too funny!!! Hopefully he will be potty trained soon, then you can watch him more.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

Haha! I bet I wouldn't know how to put on a diaper either. It's been forever!

L Harris said...

hahaha!!! too funny. thanks for sharing

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