Breakfast is part of a balanced diet

I HATE THE "D" word.
I really do it reminds me of
Death
Dumb Ass
DIE

I have promised myself to start eating breakfast, and when I say breakfast this no longer means the donuts that are served at work with the hot chocolate.

A well balanced breakfast.

You know your getting old when raisin Bran Crunch is an exciting breakfast.

I ADDED LINKS ----(pointing to her side bar) I am not done yet.
I have having anxiety about giving up some of the blogs I lurk to.
I have issues!

LINKS

OK so completely and without permission I am going to add links tonight. I wish I could do it now but there is SSOOO much work to do today so unfortunately I can not slack off.
I guess one full day of work is not too much to ask? No?
LOL

So if you have been lurking here and enjoy what you see, drop me a comment and I will link you.
That or I will link you if I am reading you anyways.
I am really going to have to look into this Bloglines thing.
That's another project.
Stay tuned to the added sites I lurk too.

Battle Rocker
Jenster
I will add you later today..

Have a great day everyone... that has no class like me and is reading this at work...

Blog Shopping?

**gasp**
I know I am a horrible blog person.
But in all seriousness.
I LOVE reading blogs, and I must say I have gotten down to a pretty good schedule as to read all my FAVS on a regular basis--as she points to the side bar.
But I have a secret.

Pause....


I HAVE A LIST OF 30+ blogs that are not listed.

WEWW I got that off my chest. Serious I must confess.

I AM A BLOG LURKER!
I feel better now.
I am a lurker, I guess the first step is to admit it. I lurk at these blogs and peak into these lives and have never left a footprint. Well for the technically inclined they all have my lurking IP address and then they also see my work one (I know I have no shame) and they have been wondering for weeks who the hell surfs there blog from a company with a REALLY weird name.
that's me.
Yep.
But it leaves so many questions.
Is there blog friend etiquette?
I mean how do you breach the subject? Do you comment and tell them you think they are FABULOUS and you want to link them?
DO you just link them?
What if you have nothing spectacular to say and "fear" they would think you were a freak anyways.
I have put this all out there do I have lurkers? And how does one get so many fabulous comments. Do they have secrets? Did I miss the naked pictures?
lol
I LOVE getting comments. But do you lurk?

I think I have blog OCD? IS there such a thing? Actually I know there is. The hubby calls me BLOG HOG (how gross I know)
But when I get home (after being on the Internet all day at work) I must check for comments?
Does anyone have anything to say?
Are they all lurkers too?

Oh I also will try to brush up on my comment etiquette. I always look back to see if someone has commented on my comment and I LOVE this but never did it myself.
So from here on out. I will comment on my comments.

And this is where I should say something witty along the lines like "I do not give a damn what you think anyways"

But I do care.

Why else would I publish all the events of my life in cyber world for all the world to see? And then check my email feverishly for comments.

**sigh** Yes this is me. I have issues

*** ha ha you think that's bad? I also feed Polly my penguin at least a few fish a day because I am worried in some sick way that if she's not feed they may kill her**

Any recommendations on a doctor for this sort of thing?

Such a slacker

I tell you what.
Getting up at 5:15am on a Saturday sucks ASS!!
But its overtime right.
And now I have to sit here because our system crashed and get caught up on all my blog reading.
Ha ha I knew I would make this work for me. LOL
I am such a slacker when I want to be, sitting at work in my Capri's, runners, no makeup and pony tail. Its pretty freaking awesome.

My movie review on SILENT HILL:
It was gory.
Some of it did not make sense to me and some of it was pretty silly (things I did not understand) but I think seeing it a second time will make me understand.
I had the impression it was going to be a Horror flick. It was not. It was scary in some parts but some of it was hard to understand and sort of dumb in other parts.
Hum the overview.
I was a little disappointed I wish it would have been a strait horror film. It would have been great if it was!
But I liked it. It was worth seeing in the theater.

I am really looking forward to The DIVINCI code, I am in the middle of the book right now and it’s hard to put down I saw the previews for the first time last night and it LOOKS AMAZING!

Date night! ; )

Ok I am in a better mood now.
Waiting for the hubby to call me back about our date tonight.
I am looking forward to having him all to myself.
Going to see Silent Hill FINALLY, I am really looking forward to seeing this movie.
There is nothing like having the crap scared out of you. I hope its good.

Sappy post- Consider yourself pre warned

So I have been thinking about home lately.
I realize my family is not getting any younger and I really feel like I am missing out.
My baby sister is turning 19.
I remember what I was like when I was 19, I miss that I am not there with her to help her through things.
I miss my brothers and I am always wondering how they are doing. How they are "really" doing, in talking to them I always get "fine" and "nothing new"
I miss my mom.
The last time I saw her she felt so fragile in my arms. Smaller, older, so strange that the longer we are away from each other the more I want to be near her.
Losing my grandpa just before Christmas a year back made me be the adult in our relationship. Its funny how I realize so many of my traits I get from my mother. She is one of the most stubborn people I know, and as the hubby would say to me when I am being really frustrating "You are your mothers daughter"
I miss my friends. I miss seeing Hailey and Brody (my BF babies) grow up. I know they know who I am but I wish I could see them, as well as Sal more often I even wish we could talk more often. I miss Sara and I wish the best for her and her journey.
I miss the friendships that I have let slide. There is no excuse for it and I am sorry for that.
Sarah B. I miss you. We were great friends at one point and I am not really sure what happened with us? I can imagine I was caught up in my own life and what was going on at the time, you have always been a great friend to me and for letting things "slide" I apologize. I wish you the best with everything you do, I get excited about your life and what's going on. I hope you are doing well.
Bryan and I talk once in a while and I am happy for him in his life right now I just wish we talked more often.
Lisa I wish we were closer than we are. I wish you the best too.
"Anne" and I were talking last night, and we talked about how its hard to let go of things. I have let go of a few people in my life and it’s a hard thing to do.
Remember that friend that I had found after 8 years. I emailed her to apologize for what ever it was that caused us to stop talking. She never emailed me back. I was thinking of sending flowers. I realize life is too short to hold grudges. These people have been there for me always and I feel the need to tell them all how much I care.
Keep an eye on your mail boxes.
I miss my dad. He's been really sick lately and he will not tell me what's going on with him. I always get the short version so I do not worry but I still feel like I never get "the whole" truth.

I think I just need to plan a vacation. In June it will be a year since I have been home.

Is it ever too late?
Do my friends and family think of me as often as I am worring about them?

The Journey Of A Mother

For those who are fortunate enough to still be blessed by having

your Mom with you, this is beautiful...For those who aren't... it

is even more beautiful.



The young mother set her foot on the path of life.

"Is this the long way?" she asked.

And the guide said "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old

before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than

the beginning." But the young mother was happy, and she would not

believe that anything could be better than these years.

So she played with her children, she fed them and bathed

them, and taught them how to tie their shoes and ride a

bike and reminded them to feed the dog, and do their

homework and brush their teeth. The sun shone on

them, and the young Mother cried,

"Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the nights came, and the storms, and the path

was sometimes dark, and the children shook with

fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and

covered them with her arms, and the children said,

"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near,

and no harm can come."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead,

and the children climbed and grew weary, and the

mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children,

"A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed,

and as they climbed they learned to weather the storms.

And with this, she gave them strength to face the world.

Year after year, she showed them compassion,

understanding, hope, but most of all...unconditional love.

And when they reached the top they said,

"Mother, we would not have done it without you."

The days went on, and the weeks and the months and

the years, and the mother grew old and she became

little and bent. But her children were tall and strong,

and walked with courage. And the mother, when she

lay down at night, looked up at the stars and said,

"This is a better day than the last, for my children

have learned so much and are now passing these

traits on to their children."

And when the way became rough for her, they lifted her,

and gave her their strength, just as she had given them hers.

One day they came to a hill, and beyond the hill, they could

see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.

And mother said: "I have reached the end of my journey.

And now I know the end is better than the beginning,

for my children can walk with dignity and pride,

with their heads held high, and so can their children

after them. And the children said, "You will always walk

with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."

And they stood and watched her as she went on alone,

and the gates closed after her. And they said:

"We cannot see her, but she is with us still.

A Mother like ours is more than a memory.

She is a living presence."

Your Mother is always with you.

She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the

street, she's the smell of certain foods you remember,

flowers you pick and perfume that she wore, she's

the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well,

she's your breath in the air on a cold winter's day.

She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep,

the colors of a rainbow, she is Christmas morning.

Your Mother lives inside your laughter.

And she's crystallized in every tear drop. A mother shows

every emotion, happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy,

love, hate, anger, helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow...

and all the while, hoping and praying you will only

know the good feelings in life.

She's the place you came from, your first home,

and she's the map you follow with every step you take.

She's your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy,

but nothing on earth can separate you.

Not time, not space...not even death

THURSDAYS THIRTEEN

13 Things I hate about the gym.

1. People who bring there cell phones with them. Is your life that important that you NEED to have your cell phone right there? I mean come on.

2. Nasty sweaty people who smell.

3. Having to go to the gym, when you get home the couch is calling your big asses name to have a seat and eat something that's bad for you. And you are required to know better and go anyways.

4. Getting revved up about going to the gym and getting there and all your favorite machines are in use.

5. Skinny bitches who wear full face makeup and they have their hair and nails all did and stand there looking all pretty with no intentions on breaking a sweat.

6. Men who grunt loud as they lift probably only 25 pounds.

7. People who hog machine. You know the ones they work out for 5 minutes walk away for some water, wash rinse repeat.

8. PEOPLE WHO DO NOT CLEAN THERE MACHINES! Ew gross! Have a little courtesy you nasty pig.

9. People who walk around doing nothing.

10. Guys who try to pick you up.

11. People who fart big nasty ones and you get a whiff just as you are gasping for breath and can taste what the guy had for dinner. And then he looks around like it was not even him.

12. People who socialize and are in the way.

13. Having to even have to go to the gym EVER, why can I not just be rich and have my own home gym with everything I love!

Now don't get me wrong I actually enjoy the gym these are just my peeves!!!

Feeling blue....

I have to be @ work @ 6am on a Saturday??
WTF!
But its overtime so I really do not care. So not looking forward to getting out of bed that early but it’s a small price to pay for the amount per hour they are going to have to pay me. lol.
I have been really blue today and I am not sure why.
Maybe because its over cast outside and kind of cold.
Hum who knows. I thought it may be PMS cause I ate 2 donuts today actually 2 1/2 (ugg I know, nice way to lose weight) but for some reason I could not help myself. I needed sweets to bring up my mood. But I certainly was not thinking that when I crashed after the sugar high.

I miss home.
I think I need to plan a visit soon.

I had a talk with the hubby last night about feeling a little neglected with the whole "living with the brother in law thing"
Its weird, we have lived alone (together) for almost 3 years and its strange to have to share him.
He was really cool about it and we had a good "talk" tee hee

Is that strange to feel a little weirded out about sharing him?

Fun times

My talents are put to great use.
I spent 3 hours of my day yesterday sharpening pencils.
Are you serious?
Fine with me if you want to pay me to do this.
Oh and I find out at the end of the day yesterday that I have to work this weekend too.
Hummm What fun.
And really is it necessary to under mind that I actually have a brain and its really not ok for you to check 5 times if I understand something.
If I say yes.
I get it. DO NOT ask me 15 times.

Just shoot me now

Gas prices KEEP GOING UP!
Ok the station I stopped at was the cheapest I could find $3.19 a gallon.
But in my frazzled pissed of state at how expensive gas is…
I pushed the wrong button and filled my car to the tune of almost $40 with premium.
Nice.
Oh and we still do not have cable. The satellite guys came out after waiting over a month just to say "Oh we can not install it here your unit does not face the right way.
Nice

Have you ever got that not so fresh feeling??

Just kidding.
Serious I said I was not going to blog about work but here it comes.

We are getting a new computer system and everyone is busy training and learning. See the funny thing is how this makes the playing field level.
At a meeting the other day (without any prior notice) it was announced that I would be moving within the company and they were getting rid of my position. (I knew this but only briefly had discussed it in my interview and never to be spoke of again)
It was also announced that we would all (there are 3 of us) be sharing the responsibilities of the "expired" position.
Thus ensued eye rolling of certain individuals. In particular the one who trained me and is too good now to even say good morning.
Oh well fuck them.

It also entertains me how now we are all "equals" so to speak and all share the same rolls.Oh and I get the biggest desk? Can you say fuel for the fire??
Can anyone else see the irony in all this?

I talked to my manager after the meeting and expressed my concerns, there were obviously peoples toes getting stepped on and I was really feeling the tension. With all the changes going on the place is crazy right now.
I was told to not to worry and I had management to back me up.

Look out bitches here I come.

So I started my new workout this morning. I can already feel it in my legs they feel like Jell-O. The intention is to do a quick 20 minutes of cardio in the morning before work to jump start my metabolism then when I get home, some more cardio and some weights.
I woke up early, worked out, had time for breakfast (I usually skip it, I know its so bad) And I also brought a healthy lunch and I pinky swore the hubby no fast food for the next 30 days. With the move and everything needing to be packed we have eaten fast food for the last 2 weeks. Even thinking about eating anymore makes my stomach turn.
So wish me luck, 10 pounds in 3 weeks or you all get a glimpse of my big fat ass.
So what I had Dell Taco for dinner last night.
It all starts today.
And I tell you what it was no easy task getting my ass out of bed an hour earlier when I could have just stayed in the slumber of my warm bed

Yucky Sunburn

I am red like a lobster. It hurts like hell. Thank goodness its only my face and neck. Serves me right for sitting outside all day without sunblock. Well at least I will have a little color in my face when it finishes pealing all gross. And if I had worn sunscreen it would be a beautiful tan today.
But no.
Oh well I guess.

The move is finally over

No internet all weekend. I feel like a new person.
Summary of weekend events.(like you care)

1) We moved! Its all done, I have even unpacked everything so I would not have that looming over head for the next few days. The move went well, all except for the big screen TV. That was interesting but if anyone plans on moving anyone anytime soon I would (as would the hubby and BIL) there are these straps you can get to move furniture they criss cross under the item and then you lift with your forearms. They were pretty cool, but because I was only a supervisor for the move (and I feel bad about it) the move was smooth.

2) The MIL and I had a yard sale with all the stuff I parted with. I was surprised actually that everything was sold. We only have a foot spa and a chair left. We even managed to sell the fridge to a really cool guy. He was buying it to give to someone else. Then he even bought the MIL car that has been sitting in the driveway for 2 years and that too he is giving to someone else.

It was a good weekend, even though I did not move anything (well not really) my body is beat! I have been up at 5 for the last 4 days in a row.

I am sunburned so bad on my face and neck (I was outside from 7 am till 1pm in the sun with no sunscreen I forgot it at home)

Oh and when I was taking down our yard sale signs I heard a dog barking, it was a weird bark so I looked and I could not see a dog, just some lady who had her bird sitting outside in a cage. No dog, so I turn around and I hear a cat in heat, I turn around still no cat. I checked under the car and everything.
When I stand there looking confused.
The bird starts to laugh at me.

I have Road Rage.

I am sure of it now. I used to think it was impatient but now I know for sure its road rage.
Things I observed on the highway home last night where it took me 40 minutes to drive 4 miles. I HATE CALIFORNIA for that. I also HATE the 60-215 interchange it is this STUPIDEST IDEA IN ENGINEERING HISTORY (I am working on a map to show you just how Stupid this interchange is..
It frustrates me so much I can not even describe it
So lady in front of me tending to her baby behind her NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THE ROAD! She's swerving in and out and almost cause 3 wrecks yet she still tends to the baby??
The mini van who has 3 small children climbing around the car. UNRESTRAINED! It would take one of the big rigs going only 5 miles an hour to hurdle those babies through the windows!!!

AND WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SLAM ON YOUR BREAKS WHEN YOU HAVE 5 CAR LENGTHS IN FRONT OF YOU?

WHY DO YOU RACE FOR ONE CAR LENGTH? IS YOUR LIFE THAT IMPORTANT THAT YOU NEED TO BE AN ASS AND RACE TO GET ONLY ONE CAR LENGTH AHEAD THEN SLAM ON YOUR BREAKS?

WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH LETTING THE BIG RIGS IN? THEY ARE ALOUD TO NEED TO GET SOME WHERE TOO, TAKE 1/2 A SECOND AND LET ONE IN AND GIVE SOMEONE A BREAK!

PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE, NOT EVERYONE IS ABLE TO MULTITASK WE ARE ON THE HIGHWAY, PHONE CALLS CAN WAIT IF YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO THE ROAD!

OMG GAS PRICES!

I put $30 in my tank and I still had 1/4 tank left and ITS STILL NOT FULL!!
Gas prices are insane.
if they keep going up I am going to be working to pay for gas to get to work.
$3.11 a gallon.
INSANE!

What do you do with no cable??

Its strange actually how involved we are with the television?
Our cable was turned off 2 days ago do to the move, it was a clean break with our billing cycle and we both figured a few days without TV would not be a big deal (the truth is we never thought they would turn it off THAT DAY, for instance in Canada if you cancel your cable it runs for a month before its turned off)
Anyways no cable.
It was really quite coming home. It felt a lot calmer and I actually had time for myself.
It was nice.
I know and understand why Oprah says not to have a TV in the bedroom (as If I listen to Oprah)
But even the hubby agreed it was kinda nice.

Ha ha, And what do you do when you have no TV to entertain you??

lol

THURSDAYS THIRTEEN!! : )

The reasons I love my husband.

1. He smells good.

2. He sings to me when I call him crying at work.

3. He knows just when I need him.

4. His hands.

5. His smile.

6. His sex drive (tee hee)

7. The way he LOVES my cooking and eats it even if its bad (its only happened once but still he ate it all).

8. The way he makes me laugh.

9. His body (yummy 6'2)

10. When he makes cute faces with his upper lip that makes me crack up.

11. When he holds me.

12. The way he looks at me.

13. The way he loves me no matter what and no matter how stupid I sound.

Cry much?

I have been so emotional today. Serious take your regular PMS and x it by about 1000 and that’s how emotional I have been.
I cried for NO reason at all this morning.
I cried at lunch.
I am eating everything my paws come into contact with.
Just shot me.

7 weird things about Random?

1. I used to be very athletic. I ran cross county in Elementary school and high school. I was actually really good at it. I once ran with a banana yellow full length gymnastics leotard on. I think my mom still has it.

2.We had an open bar at out wedding. A BUNCH of people got drunk and puked, this includes my baby sister who is 16 and Frank the guy who did all our hair (family friend) he got so drunk and was puking right out front as everyone left, yelling "THAT WAS THE BEST WEDDING EVER!!" I should post some video of that.

3. I want to get my thighs done. And not cause I am anal or anything I have inherited saddle bags and no amount of diet or exercise will get rid of them. My hubby keeps telling me he'll be angry if I do (actually he will not let me at all)

4. I wish I was a millionaire so I could open a "free" day care where everyone who worked there was paid really well and LOVED working there, and anyone who could not afford daycare would get it free if they were doing something to better there life's condition (ie single mom's going to school, single widow fathers ect)

5. Also if I had millions I would have 10 babies. I would give birth (because we would have great doctors) and I could stay at home also I would adopt a bunch of kids too. If I could afford to give them all a life they never dreamed of and send them all to whatever college they wanted.

6. I still have my baby blanket. Serious its almost 29 years old and I sleep with it every night, I even travel with it. The only time I did not take it with me was on our honeymoon. When I die I want everyone who loves me to have a piece.

7. If I could be a man for a day, I would have lots of sex and play with myself all day.

Ha ha This was a tag from Bethany so if your up to it "GETERDONE" then let me know so I can have a look.

I bet you did not think that last one would be in there? That's the way my mind thinks.

I feel like a shit now...

So strange how things happen.

I have been avoiding blogging about the new job because I went online and now my URL is stuck in the "previous" entries so now I am worried someone may happen upon it and find be talking shit about them. Not that they would really know who I was talking about because I do not use any names on this thing but anyways its made me paranoid.

So no talk about work.

And then I get an email from BIL after I tell him how much I do not really think "girlfriend" is for him.
This is what he sent me.

i think its a lost cause to be honest. i dont see myself ever living there, or her living here. we both have our valid reasons. also, im not gonna be able to fly out there every other month either. cant afford it.

So now I feel like an ass talking shit (although I did refrain from yelling "WEEHOO" at the reciept of his email) Who knows though you never know what the future holds.
What I am hoping though is that "Anne" is going to come out for a visit because lets face it we were seperated at birth and they will fall madley in love and then we will really be sisters.
Ahh I can dream right?
I just really want him to be happy, whoever it is with he's such a nice guy and has a lot to offer.
*sigh* maybe I'll secretley sign him up on some dating sites. No that's bad.
But I even told him its even hard for me to meet people here. I mean I have been here 3 years and I can count on 2 fingers how many people I have been "friends" with. They both turned out crazy but that’s not the point.
I could not even imagine being a guy trying to date out here.

Opps

Seems I jumped to conclusions.
Its one of those "pre" made things you just put in the oven.
My bad.
Lol

UGG

Migraine is Killing me.

Back is killing me, which is why I even got a migraine.

I feel queasy, and I have not worked here long enough to just puke.

Worried about "Anne" please send all your wishes and prayers to her, shes going in for another surgery, but shes going to kick this Cancer its just a matter of time

I have PMS so bad I feel like punching someone (maybe I will tee hee). And the chocolate is not helping.

Coincidence?

I think not.
Ok so the BIL "girlfriend"/white trash girl is in town and has invited the hubby and me to dinner tonight. She's cooking enchiladas.
So at first my husband asked if I wanted to go I came up with the best 5th grade response I could think of
"I don’t like her so I am not going"

The husbands response

"That’s cool I'll just go then"

Ok so fine I have time to think about it and I tell the hubby that in fact I do want to get to know her better if the BIL likes her that much then there has got to be something to her right?

Funny thing is about a month ago BIL came over to OUR house and I was cooking, the "girlfriend" called about 10 times during the 2 hours he was there.

Guess what I had cooked for dinner?

Yep Enchiladas.

Ha ha. So funny. I think she's just jealous.

I am being too over protective of him. She's not good enough for him.
End of story.

The wax came off!!!

I have lost a pair of cute panties in the process but its all gone.
The WHO HA has returned to normal state of not SWOLLENNESS
I rather uncomfortable day. But I guess it could have been worse? Maybe a slip of the hand and the mushy goop could have bee caught on something "A little more fragile?"
I think that may be the reason they put "Try a patch test before hand? No?

WAXING NIGHTMARE

Ok so the title tells it all.
I have been waxing for the last 8 years, and when I say wax I am not talking about my legs, eyebrows or mustache (although those get waxed too but that’s not part of this story)
So for those of you who need it spelled out My WHO HA. there I said it. The lady is bare (too much information but you'll need it to double over in laughter at me later) We'll just call her Brazilian
So I have eluded to this practice before with this post.
The whole nightmare started a few weeks ago, I went to get more wax the trusty kind that I have been using for 5 years, and it turns out some bastard DISCONTINUED IT!
(If I find them I kill them!) So I do the next best thing I get the stuff that looks the same from the same company, should work the same right?
I zap the wax to an inch of its life and wait for it to cool, when just the right consistency I slather it on, So I dive in as a always do 4 little strips, and when I say little I mean about and inch each, leg prepped on the bathroom counter and then its ready to be pulled.
WTF?
Its mushy??? NO this is not happening.
I'll just let it cool a little longer.
STILL MUSHY!! HOW THE HELL AM I GO TO PULL THIS OFF WHEN ITS ALL SOFT AND MUSHY??
I'll just wait a bit longer…

And I wait…

FUCK!!!

Its not coming off in one sweep like its supposed too. I start to scratch at it and this is where you can all laugh cause yes I am scratching at my WHO HA trying to get the now cooled wax off that is now intertwined with the… well you get it…

FUCKING HELL!!

SO after about and hour of scratching and peeling I walk out of the bathroom.

"Baby, can you come here for a minute"

Hubby "What's up? Why are you half naked?"

"I HAVE A WAX EMERGENCY AND IT WILL NOT COME OFF" (so close to tears at this point)

He takes a closer look...

Hubby "Snicker, snicker what did you do? What do you mean you can not get it off, do you not just pull it off?"

"YES YOU PULL IT OFF BUT THIS STUFF IS DEFECTIVE IT WILL NOT PULL OF AND I CAN NOT EVEN SCRATCH IT OFF, I HAVE BEEN PULLING AND SCRATCHING LIKE MAD!!!"

Hubby is laughing at this point and shaking his head. "What do you want me to do??"

"HELP ME" (keeping in mind he is in hysterics at this point his wife's WHO HA cover in wax)

So between the laughing he starts to scratch (yes at my crotch this is why I love the man) then he has the idea

"Why do you not just have a shower and wash it off with a loafa??" (as if I had not thought of this idea this wax will not come off with soap and water it would make it worse)

For those ladies who have ever waxed there crotch in there life knows how sensitive it can be to even water let alone taking sand paper to it after being waxed or in this case covered in wax and half waxed/pulled off and scratched at my skin is so irritated.

So did I get it all off???

Like Hell I did. I gave up after 2 hours and I even used the "special" oil to remove the shit? AND IT DID NOT EVEN WORK!

Guess who is walking around today with her panties attached to her WHO HA?

Things to Do

1. Finish packing. (I really do not want to but I have no choice! And I have the urge to leave it to last minute but that’s not fair to the guys who are moving this weekend and considering I can not do anything I better make sure everything is ready)

2. Make signs for the garage sale. (this Saturday because we have so much STUFF to get rid of)

3. Call about insurance about the computer. (I found out when changing our address that because our computer was "fried" in a lightning storm the house insurance will replace it)

4. Tell my husband I love him (you should have seen him leaving for work this morning in a suit for his new position at work! Yummy)

5. Plan how I am going to arrange my "new" closet. The hubby thinks its big enough to put all our totes in but with my calculations its not going to work. I NEED MORE ROOM!

6. Plan my diet and exercise program for the next 4 weeks. 10 Pounds in 4 weeks or I POST A PICTURE OF ALL MY LARDINESS!!.

7. Call the BIL and convince him to marry the "White Trash" he's dating. (just kidding I would NEVER do that, if he's happy I can fake it right?)

8. Get a hair cut!! Yes I still have not gone.

9. Return the 2 pairs of shoes I bought. I loved them in the store but when I went to wear a pair this morning, I no longer love them??? What?? I know. Shoes I do not like? They have to go back.

10. Call my mom.

Life

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

FAST DIVORCE!

I really have nothing to do but blog.
Tee hee. Imagine my surprise.

So something I found interesting as I was driving down the highway (I wish I had a camera to show you)
There was this HUGE billboard that said

FAST DIVORCE
SAVE ALL THE HASSLE.

Its made me laugh to see it. I find it funny how society views marriage and divorce now. Not that it’s a big surprise that as of last year 38% of marriages end in divorce. And if you x that by 2 (which they say you have to because in a divorce its 2 people getting divorced) it’s a staggering 74% of people that are married get a divorce each year. And believe it or not California (the divorce capital of the world) Colorado, Indiana and Louisiana are the only states that do not "track" divorce rates, but are some of the highest states to have divorces filed?

But the true number is 43% as reported by The National Center for Health Statistics. They also say that even though 43% is the accurate amount they "guess" its more 50% of marriages end in divorce.

Call me old fashion but what ever happened to "Death do us part?"
I know for me my vows were heart felt and honest and I think the only thing I would EVER divorce for would be infidelity. Only because that goes with trust and trust is one of my top things.
And I know marriages fail for a bunch of reasons and it takes 2 to work at something of spending a lifetime with each other. Its hard sometimes.
Now do not get me wrong I KNOW, NO ONE INTENTIONALLY GETS MARRIED TO GET A DIVORCE
I can understand people fall out of love but I believe marriage takes work. I do not think its just the vows that hold the marriage together, you need to work everyday at it.
You need to always consider the other person, you need to work for the same goals and you need to always communicate.

But on the same note I understand why people need to get divorced. Things change, life changes, people change. It just baffles me that the number is SO high. Maybe its just me?

I feel blessed to have found the man in my life worth working for.
I thank god everyday, for every moment we get to spend together.
I love that man like I could never explain.

Ok I'm done.

White Trash?

I should maybe not say this but I am going to anyways.
Can we say white trash?
I mean who goes to someone's house and says "I hate it here?"
The BIL "girlfriend" does. 30 seconds of us walking in the door my mother in law says "So how do you like the new place?"

She pisses me off. The husband seems to think its ok cause she's from a small town and is used to quite. Quite or not she's rude. I even told him if I had said that to anyone he would have freaked out!

The hubby says I do not like her because she's a lot like me. I puked. We are not alike at all! Other than we both have huge boobs and are women.

WTF??

As if.

Anyways so I thought about it and I have come to the realization that I think this girl is not good enough for the BIL. I think thats why I do not like her. And I like everyone. She just rubs me the wrong way for some reason. UGG and I am usually a pretty good judge of character (more or less some crazies have slipped passed my radar)

I mean is it necessary to call someone 30 times a day when you know what they are doing or where they are? Is it different in there world? She's clingy in a bad way. Ok enough bad mouthing the maybe sister in law.
Ha ha. Even the BIL said that would not happen so I am not worried yet.
Hell I can see the wedding party now… Shit there's nothing wrong with a party at a bowling alley is there?

I am so evil!

Ha ha. So my mother in law lives in a very "well known" area. Lets just say the average house starts at 3/4 of a million,no she does not own she rents but anyways.

So there is a place across the street that has turned there lavish garden home into a place where brides dreams come true. THIS GARDEN IS INSANE. They groom it everyday. There are porcelain statues, waterfalls the works.

Anyways they often hold weddings there on Sundays (they can not do them Saturdays due to the seventh day advenist "rules")

So anyways today I pull up and there is this HUGE lavish wedding going on, the waterfalls are filled with rose petals, sounds of a live orchestra fill the air.
The only thing I could think was

hum do I have any death metal in my car?? I mean I (when I say I a, I mean the mother in law) live hear so I am initialed to play my music as well. Right?

I thought maybe some ACDC or Black Sabbath??? Or maybe some good old R&B I would make sure to booty dance to in with curlers in my hair, in my pj's with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth of coarse.

And neck breaking loudness.

I mean what could they do really? Call the cops at 1:30 in the afternoon and complain about noise?lol

Does anyone else find this funny? The hubby just laughed at me.

They are in my back yard after all..

As if I could ever do something like that but my mind thinks of things to do to entertain myself..

Bingo was a flop!

I did not win.
Actually I have never won. But I won the money I spent on Bingo playing blackjack before bingo started so technically I have not lost anything. And tonight they gave away "free bingo" coupons so I get to go again for free some time. I like bingo its pure comedy!! SOME OF THE OUTFITS. I think I will buy a digital camera and take pictures at bingo and put them on line.
You would all laugh your asses off.

My intentions were to get my hair cut before bingo and I checked the Salon (of coarse I do not have and appointment) THE WAIT WAS 1 1/2 hours! Do you know what I can do with 1 1/2 hours.
So I never ended getting my hair cut.
I'll try again tomorrow.

But I did buy 2 really cute pairs of shoes. I mean how could I not? I walked by them at first but when I was frustrated about not getting my hair cut I did a little retail therapy

I better hide the scissors around here or I am going to cut my own DAMN hair

My list of stuff to do today

1. Get a hair cut! Its so getting out of control and putting it up everyday is getting old.

2. Go shopping. (I only bought a new purse yesterday)

3. Go to bingo. (I need to visit the old lady to make sure she's doing ok)

4. Win at bingo.

5. Plan a luxurious vacation with my winnings.

My brother in law's "girlfriend" (they met online and have been long distant dating) from IOWA flew in yesterday to visit him and we were all supposed to go out to a comedy club tonight, but it seems that's not going to happen.

Brandy has a new home!

I went to the Humane Society night out again last night and this guy fell in love with her. He called his wife who checked her out on line and she said YES!
I am so excited for her, I was tearing up saying goodbye.
she's got a new home (5 bedrooms) with a HUGE backyard and 1 kid to play with, I think the guy said his son was 7.
SO ITS PERFECT.
I have been thinking about her all day.
So far, so good though, the guy has not called to give her back yet.
Ha ha I made the husband come out too to see all the dogs and cats who need homes. I fell in love with this dog named Rocky I tried to convince the husband to get him, but with that look in his eyes and his explanation that its "not fair" to have a dog in an apartment.
I agreed.
We so need to buy a house!

WEEHOO for the 4 day work week

I tried to sleep in today and for some reason my body will not let me!!
Its a bit frustrating!!

Lots of stuff to get done with the move and everything. I NEED A HAIR CUT!!
I have worn my hair up for the last 3 weeks because its that bad.

And the hubby got a new position at his "current" job so I get to go shopping for shirts and ties for him. I LOVE TO SHOP. And if I buy him things its really hard not to buy myself something too right?
I already have sugarplums dancing in my head!
Shoes? Purses? Suits?

The little lizard that visits me everyday.

Ok one of my job duties is to take the mail out and pick it up when it comes. Since day one there has been this little brown lizard laying out in the sun.
I look forward to our daily interlude. Its strange how I look forward to seeing him (I assume him cause lets face it he's a critter).
The first time I saw him, I was a bit startled but then I came to expect that he (I have named him George) would be sunning him self on the step to the mail box. I noticed you are quite fat so I assume you get enough to eat. I have thought on a few occasions to maybe "drop" some food for you.
Yes its true.
Today I talked to you. (as if you understod me?)
I am a freak

6 out of 10

Would be the rating for the new Spray hose.
I was dying to have a shower as soon as I walked in the door.
It was a trip standing in the shower and the shit would not come off (its water proof) you need to use soap.
It took a few washes and scrubs and when I thought that I got all of it, it stained the towels. Well not stained really (won't know till they are washed)

But its a nice alternative. I need to play with it a little to "master" the stuff but its pretty cool!

Everyone I asked said they would have never known I was not wearing pantyhose if I had not asked so thats good I guess.

Or I could just quit being lazy and get a tan Ha ha. As if I found this picture and I have tried the "Spray tan" it did not look anything like this.
Bastards

Did it work??

So I got up early to avoid disaster to try the
NEW SPRAY ON HOSE.. For more reference on my PANTY HOSE HELL
please see this and this

So standing naked in the bathroom I shake the bottle hard and perch my leg on the sink and begin to spray.
My first thought
"AAWW FUCK!"
Serious it came out BRIGHT ORANGE worse than any fake tanning stuff I have ever seen.
So in stead of panic I started to rub it in (it says to apply and rub like a lotion)
So far so good. It’s a little tricky around the heels and toes.

So what do I think?

THIS SHIT IS FREAKY!!! Its so strange it really looks like you are wearing pantyhose. I only wore Capri's today because I need to "practice" my skills with the rubbing in like a lotion thing and work with the "feet" situation.

It looks like panty hose.
It feels like panty hose, so much so that I had put it all over my leg and wore pants and it feels like I have panty hose on underneath!! EXCEPT IT DOES NOT ITCH!!! Yes it does not itch!
You can drop water on it and it does not run?? This is weird ass shit!

I think I will try it again, I asked some of the women at work what they thought and they too agree its freaky!
BUT NO MORE PANTYHOSE FOR ME!!!

I am going to try Appling lotion to my legs first before I spray because I noticed I have dry skin on one of my legs and if you put your face right up to it, it sort of looks funny.

Oh and I do not recommend wearing pants with it either. I will see the damage (is the stuff is all stuck on my pants) when I get home and take them off.

The care package was a hit!!

For more information this post will be about "Anne" from supposedly this is good therapy.
I really amuse myself some times. So I have been reading her blog since she started it.
She's an amazing person and is going through struggles that most of us will never be able to grasp.
Is is possible to have never met anyone and care so much about them? (and not in the creepy stalker way either!)
Anyways I like to put together care packages. I LOVE SURPRISES.
So after lurking around her blog for a bit and emails back and forth I put together a care package for her to make her laugh.

Here is some of the things I included. She goes to a karaokee bar and there are guys with mullets so I included these teeth so she would blend in better.
She had a crush on her doctor so I sent a cute little negligee thing with a note to wear it after her surgery and when the doctor asks she must say "this old thing??". Her dog had bitten this guy she was dating so I made sure to send a first aid kit in case Rickey (her dog) opens a can of woop ass on anyone else
It was a bunch of stuff and it was so fun finding things
She says she loves it so

WEEHOOO

I guess you would have had to see the whole thing to get it.
Or I am just crazy..
Ha ha I know I am crazy.

Oh and we got to talk on the phone too.

Its so surreal to feel like you have known someone forever and have never met.

I think we were twins in a past life. That or family.

Waiting on pins and needles!!

Ok so I have checked the UPS site about 9 times today in hopes that the care package I sent out has been delivered.

I can tell you all about it once she gets it...

Tee hee So excited I am such a chess ball!

Back to school?

So I had my "introduction" yesterday and the HR lady posed a good question.

"What do you want to do with your life? What are your plans?"
I look up, having not expected that after just being hired.

"UUMM I am not sure"

" I do not believe for one minute that you would be happy doing what you are doing as a career, Have you ever thought of going back to school?"

"I have but I have been procrastinating. I think one day I will then something comes up and I never commit to doing it."


This whole conversation has gotten me thinking. I have been "awarded" money so to speak because of my accident so I am going to take the leap and make plans to go back to school.

To do what you ask?

I HAVE NO IDEA *sigh*

I am a light weight!

If you ask anyone I know about drinking, everyone would say I can hold my own.
I used to be a BIG drinker. And not in the alcoholic sense of the words (well not really)
When I drink, I get drunk I have never mastered the "art" of casual drinking. But it was all in good fun! I used to work in a bar (Inferno and the Bulldog you sickos)lol
And the girls and I had some good times.
Well the other night I bought a bottle of Kaluha, I had 3 drinks and was drunk. I could feel the alcohol after the first one.
So tonight after dinner I am sitting here having a few more.
I like a good drink.
Casual sitting back.
AND OH MY I remember why I liked to drink. GEEZ its makes me CRAZY horny.
Serious.
I am eyeing the husband like a piece of meat. A big old steak.

Gotta go I have some "business" to tend to
Tee hee

Open letters

To the guy who honked at me yesterday.

Look buddy it was OBVIOUS that I was handing money to the homeless guy with the sign. Where is your compassion? Serious did your mother teach you no manners? I hope your stupid Mercedes gets a flat!

To the idiot at Subway.

Look jackass I only get a 1/2 hour lunch and it takes me 10 minutes to get here, so if its all the same to you when you order 5 different subs don't be the jackass and pay for them separately! Its in considerate and rude to the other people in line.

To the idiot driving in the fast lane doing 50 miles an hour.

You are not "entitled" to drive as slow as you want just because you drive a fancy SUV and you this its your right to drive in the fast lane. Get over yourself and have a little respect. Its fine you want to do 50 miles an hour but do it in the slow lane jerk face your slowing down traffic!

How well do you know Random?

How well do you know me? For instance did you know?....
(ok I get I was supposed to email this back but its good
blog material)

4 Jobs I have had in my life?

1. Tim Hortons
2. Bank Of Montreal
3. Rogers Communications
4. Inferno and the Bull Dog

Four nicknames I've been given:

1. Club Kristalle
2. Pookie
3. Crazy
4. Auntie Kisto

Four movies I would watch over and over:

1.  The Notebook
2.  Ever After (with Drew Barrymore)
3.  Black Hawk Down (hubbies fav)
4.  Back to the future

Four places I have lived:

1. Thunder Bay
2. Ottawa
3. Orleans
4. California


Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Gilmore Girls
3. The L word
4. Dr. 90210

Four places I have been on vacation:

1. Las Vegas
2. Wasaga beach
3. Hawaii
4. California (before I lived here)

Four people I could NOT live without:
In no particular order:

1. Hubby
2. Mom- both of them
3. Sister
4. All my girls

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Fruit
2. Veggies
3. Indian Food
4. Anything sweet

Four places I would rather be right now:
anywhere but work, but to be specific:

1.  Tropical beach
2.  Home in bed
3.  In Ottawa
4.  On a VACATION

Four people I have tagged that I think will respond

1. Shan (email me)
2. Sarah B (email me)
3. Anne (yes you Anne)
4. Anyone else who wants to.

You've been tagged. so here it goes...copy and paste
into a new email/blog entry, delete my answers,
replace with your own and send it back to me or post
on your blog and leave a comment so I can peruse it.

I am a clothes hoarder!!

Step one is admitting the problem...**sigh***

Ok I always knew I had a lot of shit. By shit I mean clothes. If a random stranger were to go through my closet they would probably think 6 women lived here.
Why?
Well I have clothes in EVERY size.
** note to self, when losing weight to avoid going back to the "big" sizes GET RID OF IT!!**

So this is what I am going to do.

I think I may need therapy about my clothes situation.

However in my defense about 3 weeks ago I did clean out my closet and took 6 garbage bags of stuff to the Good Will. So its a start.

Some how I knew the "white 4 inch Spice Girl shoes" are probably not going to "be in" again in my life time. (so what I had them in white, black, and blue.) I had to let them go

And also I will probably not be attending any RAVES in the near future so the BRIGHT YELLOW and BLUE pants were sent too. (I have the pictures to prove it)
The cow skirt and about 15 other mini skirts that I will never wear again
The "cool" overalls (cause lets face it they do not look good on anyone)
I did part with all the belly shirts because I have come to terms with the fact that I will not be wearing those to the mall to hang out, nor would anyone want to see me in one EVER again.
LOL

If I could just stop the urge to buy copious amounts of shoes. (not my shoes but pretty DAMN close)

I guess it is better than being a crack addict! But I guess technically it is my crack habit??
And I will not mention the purse situtation either because anyone addicted to the "crack that we call shoe" habit also has a serious issue in the "need to buy a purse to match all the shoes that are my crack habit"

Feeling a little nostalgic

Wow, so moving is interesting. I have been going through old boxes and finding tones of OLD shit. Stuff from when the hubby and I started dating, old CD's which I am playing right now. Songs I have not heard in FOREVER!
It makes me happy really.
Its amazing how far we have come.
It's weird to think of where we once were, I think its funny how music can bring you back so far to a place in your life where it seems your life was just starting??
How a certain song brings tears to my eyes cause you have so many memories of it?
I wish you all could see me now. I am in my element dancing around the (more empty) living room to a CD that all my girls and I would listen to before going to the bar.
One that I used to listen to when I was getting ready to work at the bar (bartender)
One that we all listened to before heading to Atomic?? (and underground club where some bad things were put into our bodies, bad depending on how you look at it)
I found these CD in my 3 disk changer that I have not opened in 3 years.
OMG its been years!
I think I am going to start to plan a reunion tour.

Serious I think it would be so kick ass!

Nothing a bottle of Kaluha can not fix

On the way home from work last night I stopped for booze. I felt like getting drunk. I knew the night would be spent packing for the move, which some of it will take place on Sunday. And I wanted to be prepared.
It feels bitter sweet really.
The hubby and I are moving out of the first place we have lived in together.
I'll get over it, I can be a bit sensitive about stupid shit.

Oh and stay tuned FOR THE SPRAY ON PANTYHOSE EPISODE. While shopping for booze at the local Rite-Aid I passed through the panty hose isle. I looked over at the "taunting" hose on the wall only to glare at it, and noticed something a little weird.
They have created

Spray on Panty hose?? WTF?

What did I do?

I bought some of coarse. To the tune of $12

Its supposed to be big in Japan you just spray it on (you can all see how this may be a HUGE disaster) however I am adventurous like that and of coarse this means I will need to get up 2 hours earlier to advert disaster if it happens so I am not late for work.

I checked the site but its all in Japanese (no I did not get the ones with the diamonds)

I am sure this will be an adventure. I will not let the HOSE win!

Gun Shots are a sure sign you are OFFICIALLY in the GHETTO

WTF!

Ok so I am in sweet, sweet relaxing sleep when

** oh some back story my husband used to me in the military, the man can sleep standing up and sleeps like a log. No joke I literally have to jump on him and shake him violently to wake him up which I have done on a few occasions when we have had earth quakes and I am shitting myself in a panic and he wakes up pauses for a moment and then falls right back to sleep!***

"TACK!TACK!TACK!TACK!TACK!"

So I lay as still as I can and make no movement at all as I try to register (I am the lightest sleeper EVER) that I had just heard gunshots out my window, I check the clock and close my eyes to remember how many shots there were in case I was needed in court (shut up this is how my panicked mind works) My heart is going a mile a minute but I am frozen stiff in fear when my husband wakes out of his death sleep and asks

"Are you Ok?"

Keeping in mind I have still not moved not even a inch because I am so panicked

"I JUST HEARD GUNSHOTS!!" in the best whisper I can manage because lets face it I do not want anyone to hear me.

"WHAT?"

TACK! (my best impression of another gun shot)

"That's not a gun shot babe, is that what you heard?"

"No I heard a gunshots!" (the first round was much louder and had an echo to it, sure I am no gun EXPERT but I am certain it was gun shots!) I am still contemplating calling 911 cause that's what you are supposed to do when you hear gun shots out your window at 2:12am and you apparently live in the GHETTO

Soon I hear a bunch of cars whoshing into the complex I sneak to the window and see 4 police cars "searching" the area.

The police left so I assume it was not gun shots.

We have lived her 3 years and have never had a problem with ANYTHING in the complex, my husbands car has like $2000 worth of stereo equipment in it and has never been touched nor has my piece of shit car.
We have only seen the police here on about 4 occasions in 3 year and most were domestic disputes that we popped popcorn to watch from out on the patio. (does that make me a bad person? Oh the drama)
Our neighbor's place, someone attempted to break into (on the ground level) but the guys an idiot and leaves his blinds open with his 65" flat screen TV just glaring out the curtains with all his components just begging to be stolen. Nothing was ever taken they just "think" the place was "almost" broken into.

Anyways.

Is it possible for 2 souls to be so connected that the husband sensed the panic and woke up to check on me even though I had made no noise at all? And he never heard the shots?

And I still have guilt about not calling the police.
I mean obviously someone did, but what if it was only one person? What if the police were not as thorough as they would have been if they had gotten more calls?
And I know if I was in Canada the last shot would not have even gotten out before I was on the phone.

100th person to ask?

How many kids do you have??

Its like a disease. "Oh your married? How many kids do you have?"

Me "None"

"Oh" with the all knowing nod (like they know something I do not) and I can see in there eyes they want to know more. I have told a few select people so I am sure the lunch table will be a buzz one day about how I chose to get married and have no children.

Jackasses mind your own damn business.

I should just bark at the next person who asks "I CAN'T HAVE CHILDREN FUCKERS!"

I am sure that would go over well.
Tee hee

Ok I have to find something "work" related to do

EEWW germs

I think I am a closet germa phob. Serious. I have Antibacterial Gel, Cream and wipes on my desk. I wash my hand almost whenever I walk past a sink.

Ha ha.
I am hopeless.
Oh and then I read this article in a magazine over lunch and it was about molds and how they effect people. It was a very disturbing article and really detailed. To sum it up its says most people find out they have mold in there houses by getting sick first. They have un unexplained allergies (check) they sneeze (check) the have breathing problems (check).
You want to here something gross?
In our bathroom this morning (we have serious mold problem since we moved in 3 years ago) I mentioned to the hubby that there are what looks like fruit flies coming out of the mold.
GROSS!
Ok we move in 10 days. But still gross. We mentioned it to building management and they keep "patching" it up.
Gross.

Oh and I was having a conflict with updating at work.
I thought Hum?

Should I?

I mean would that be irresponsible?

THURSDAYS THIRTEEN

1. I am addicted to Carmex. Serious I have 4 chapsticks in my purse.

2. I have bright purple toenails right now.

3. My husband gets frustrated at me for being a slob.

4. I love to cook.

5. I laugh out loud REALLY loud.

6. I have a big ass and a big round head (per the husband says).

7. I would wear runners every day if they did not look so frumpy!

8. If I could I would never get out of bed.

9. I talk baby talk to puppies or any kind of animal (yes they look at me crazy)

10. I LOVE to dance.

11. I yell at bad drivers and I think I may have a little road rage.

12. I am a big snuggler!

13. I love with all my heart (sometimes this gets me hurt but I would never take it back)

AAHH

So embarrassed.
So as you all know I have a great new job. Today I certainly have changed my mind about said job.
Why?
I WAS ATTACKED BY A VICIOUS COCKROACH!!
No joke I was minding my own business getting printer paper for the color printer and on the way the printer to fill it I feel this slimy thing (well I could not be sure it was slimmy more creapy) thing scurry across my hand..EEWWW AACCK I scream.

I tried hard to hold it in to not embarrassed myself but it came out.
From the depths of my belly and at the top of my lungs.
And when it comes to screaming I can hold my own (7 years of cheerleading will do that to a person)
People came running and of coarse

The cockroach was no where to be found.

People are looking at me funny.

And I know the little I MEAN BIG bugger is hiding in wait to pounce on some other unsuspecting fool… It will be me again and I will need to walk with my head in shame.

My heart still has not returned to normal…..

Oh and then (because only one person believed me about the ROACH) she mentioned that in fact they eat the glue off the envelopes and sealled paper…

**note to self, look for roaches when USING ANY paper with sticky stuff near it***

I can still hear his little feet scurring around the office, as if to mock me..

UGG the drama

So I was sitting at work today and I get called into the VP's office and the HR lady is there.
She asked me to close the door.
Her and the VP explain to me that I must go do "another" physical so they can send it to head office.
So right away I start freak out. By freak out I mean I stand there stunned as hell and then the wheels in my head start turning.
HR lady explains the physical I did was supposed to include an agility test and because they did not send the results of one, they concluded that they must have forgotten.
She explains all employees are required to have one to work there.
So I leave and go to the clinic, the whole time wondering if they are trying to find a reason to get ride of me.
And I forgot to mention that last week I was asked for my high school transcripts because in there back ground investigation I said I had finished grade 12 and they got results back saying I had not. (so this is another reason I think they are trying to fire me) I explained that the system is different in Canada (or at least 10 years ago it was)
So I get to the clinic fill out paper work and they call me in.
Because I circled "Yes" that I had a injury they refused to do the test.
WTF?
So I call the husband about to ball my eyes out and I am freaking that "Oh MY GOD ITS HAPPENING AGAIN!"
They are not going to keep me because of my injury.
They send me back to work with a note.
I had it to the lady in HR and she just smiles and says "Thanks"
I ask to speak to her, because lets face it I want to know if they are firing me already?
2 hours pass.
I speak to her.

Its no big deal (or so she says) So I am still concerned.
But all I can do is show up everyday and "hope" for the best.
My mom is mailing my transcripts this week.
Fucking Hell

A leap of faith..

So a once upon a time I had this friend. She was my best friend we did everything together. We were inseparable for about 6 years. So much so she was an identical twin and I felt closer to her that her twin ever could (not the case of coarse cause they shared the womb but you know what I mean)

Anyways the last 3 nights in a row I have been dreaming about her. Nothing bad, mostly about her in happy times, about her family, about her wedding (I have no idea if she's married) about her having kids.

Anyways, when I got to work I googled her.
I was amazed (actually not really because I knew she would do big things) but she's a lawyer for a huge firm.
We have not talked in about 7 years, the last time we spoke was a conversation I had with her about her "boyfriend" and the fact that I did not approve.

Anyways we had a falling out about him.
She moved away and we have not spoken since.
These dreams had dug up a bunch of old feelings.
Seeing her picture at the Firm almost brought tears to my eyes.
I hope she's happy.
Anyways I took a leap of faith.
I emailed her.
I apologized of coarse not bringing up the past just that I wanted to move forward.
I left it in her court. Its funny cause even though we have not talked in forever she had given me a gift for my 16th birthday that I still have, 12 years later. Its sitting on my bookshelf. Its a cute ceramic teddy bear picnic thing that says

"The happiest times are those spent with friends"

I hope we can reconnect.
Its hard sometimes to say you were wrong, and for that I am really sorry. She is one of the strongest people I know and somehow I feel like my heart is telling me I need her.
I do.

Killer Panty hose Part 2

Ok outfit picked out NEED panty hose
I was glad to see I was not the only exasperated lady perusing panty hose isle at the local Wal-Mart @ 7:30 am dressed to kill with no panty hose…

Ok so squished into another pair. but I am smart and think I am being so sly this time this time and decide that I should get a size too big, thus would ensue less of a struggle and VOILA a little struggle still followed the panty hose rules about rolling down to the toe then "jumping in"

(in the car I know crazy) they are on.
No problem.
I get to work, get out of my car then..pluep.. The top rolls down and I am trying to frantically walk like they are not about to drop to my feet (keeping in mind to look as classy as I can with a skirt on).

The knees are sagging like I am 80 and now the feet have little elephant rolls on them.
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!!

Damn you panty hose!!

Panty Hose 2 me 0

I have come to a conclusion that a) panty hose and me are NOT friends and I will NEVER like them. b) the were invented by a man!

Bastards!

**Revised***

So I run to the bathroom before lunch, and when I say run someone was picking up lunch so I was trying to be quick so I would not need to eat alone.

I pee quick and head to the lunch room.
"Hum whats that draft coming from?"
MY SKIRT WAS TUCKED INTO MY PANTY HOSE!

Panyhose 3 me 0

OH KILLER PANTY HOSE HOW I LOATH YOU!!

WTF!
Ok so I have never really been a really big "lady" sure I know how to get done up but I have never really been a big PANTY HOSE WEARER..
So I have a bunch of really cute skirts that are work appropriate but the classy girl in me says "You should really wear panty hose with that"
So I buy panty hose (yes that's right I DO NOT OWN PANTY HOSE)
Fast forward to this morning 5 minutes ago.
So my mom always taught me to do the feet thing first (you know what I mean roll up the feet before you launch your hoof into it)
So one foot in..Success
two feet in success.
So now you understand that they are up to my knees at this point
HOW THE FUCK TO I WRIGGLE MY BIG ASS INTO THESE THINGS???
(but I soon learn that the "style" when tight ass jeans that you need to lay down and jump up and down to get into will come in handy)
I am wriggling like crazy and every time I hear a "zip"
Its soon followed with a "AH FUCK"
ARE THEY SERIOUS!! HOW THE HELL SOMEONE DOES THIS EVERYDAY IS BEYOND ME.
So I have lost the battle of the hose....
Bastards!

AT least I can play cops and robbers with the remnants when the hubby gets home
Thank goodness he was not here to witness this. I would never hear the end of it.

I can be such a cheese ball!

So I LOVE PUTTING TOGETHER CARE PACKAGES!
I am the QUEEN of care packages!
Anyways last night I finished a care package and I was so excited about getting the package about today that I tore the house up trying to find packing tape.
Did I find it?
No
I had to wait to go get some after work.
I hope "Anne" likes her care package (as she points to the side bar at Supposedly this is good therapy)

My hubby laughed at me. He can always see it in my eyes when I am "Creating" a care package. He just smiles at me like I am crazy (maybe I am a little)

Tee hee
After she gets it I can tell you all about it...
Till then I will leave you all hanging!!

Ah to have sensitive skin SUCKS ASS!!

Yesterday I met a friend for lunch. It was relaxing and then she wanted to head to the mall for a pedicure. I have not had a pedicure in a while so I was excited, while we were sitting there soaking the little lady comes over about 1/4 inch away from my face
"You have mustache!"
"WHAT?"
"No problem, I wax for you!"
"Ok"
"Oh, you eyebrows too!"
"ok"
I need to remind you of the "sensitive skin issue"

Yeah today I have blisters between my eyes and on top of my lip.

My lip blends so nicely into the rest of the top of my lip that it looks as if I have just had BAD silicone injections, this would not be such a problem if it did not look like I had them done at the 7/11.

Shit I know better.

I'll just tell everyone at work tomorrow that my husband hits me. I am sure the lisp with be barley noticeable in the morning.

Well at least I no longer have a mustache. That's good right?

So it's official

We signed the lease today.
We have a new place.
And I love it.
Not too excited about moving cause I am going to have to go through shit and "down size" things.
Its good though, the place is sooo big and beautiful and it will be hard to say "I didn't have time to work out today" cause the gym is huge and beautiful too and there will be no more excuses!
Oh and then I will not need to post a pic of me in a bikini. Cause then I would cry.
I will warn you before it happens though. Just so you need not be scared that one day "Poof" there is a 1/2 naked pic of me.
I would be scared if I was perusing and poof someone I really had no intention of seeing half naked and there they were.

Oh and and I thought of a rebuttal about the "surprise" of me having tattoos at the work place.

Ha ha. I should have told them of the parts of my body that I have had pierced!
That would have given them a heart attack. And no I have not pierced my boobs either.
Snicker snicker