People are idiots

Serious things I have heard this week.

"I will have a diet coke, and a water. But not in the same glass. Two different glasses please. One of water, one of diet coke, ok?"

Uumm really lady. I mean you REALLY need to specify this? I mean really? Do I look like and idiot?

Same day different table.

"Can we get 2 waters and a coke. We are just going to share the coke?"

Stupid people YOU CAN NOT SHARE A BOTTOMLESS DRINK!!

Oh and my all time favorite

"Oh can I just have a glass I water and LOTS of lemons? I am just going to make my own lemonade"

I can not make this stuff up! And I would LOVE to tell you this is so random and barely happens but ITS HAPPENING ALL THE TIME.

Ok rant done.

That's Karma bitches!!

So I had this table come in last night.

They seemed nice enough. I gave them good service (or what I would say is good service.) They were a little rude but I thought nothing of it.

At the end of the meal the lady says to me "I work at sister restaurant so I get a discount"

No problem, I take her pay stub and her id and show a manager. All while grumbling under my breath because "SAID" restaurant employees that we give discounts to OFTEN stiff the servers at our restaurant.

Call it them being jealous (we are better) call it just being a jack ass it happens more often than not. And there is nothing we can do about it....

AND THEY STIFFED ME!!! After receiving a discount on their bill of over $12.

Whatever I was expecting it.

And then after 5 minutes the guy comes running into the restaurant and asks the hostess if someone has turned in a cell phone. I can see this going on and the hostess is pointing at me and THE GUY REFUSES TO COME OVER TO ME!! (cause he knows hes a jackass) I ignore this finish cleaning the table and walk into the back.

I wait a bit.

Then I come back out and with his tail between his legs he is standing at the table asking "Did you happen to find a cell phone?"

"Sure didn't" Without skipping a beat or even looking.

He climbed under the table (because there was no way I was going to)

Nothing.

A new table is sat and the guy leaves.

His phone rings and the new table hands it to me......


The moral of the story is always tip your server.......

It is not ok!!! Version #3

1. To sit in at a table, at a restaurant WHEN THEY ARE ON WAIT for 4 hours. And only leave a 3$ tip. Yep and when I LEAVE TO GO HOME FROM MY SHIFT YOU ARE STILL SITTING THERE!! Y'all are assholes. If you tip accordingly and ARE AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT PLEASANT by all means take your time. You realize you cost me money seeing how no one else could sit there MY WHOLE SHIFT!!!

2. To snap, wave, clear your throat to get my attention. If I see you waving your hands, snapping your fingers, TALKING REALLY LOUD while I am at another table. I will walk away and make your dumb ass wait.

3. Oh and if you shake your empty glass at me while I am across the room because you consider it a sport to DOWN your drink the minute it is placed on the table AFTER HAVING 5. Yes I am ignoring you and I am doing it on purpose. You wonder why other servers are dropping stuff off to my tables? Its because your an idiot and I am MAKING YOU WAIT!

4. It is NEVER acceptable to put gum under your table or to BLOW YOUR FU*KING nose into the LINEN napkin. You are a gross, classless pig.

It is not ok!!! Version #2

1. To BE A BITCH when you go out to dinner. And then to suggest THAT YOUR SERVER MIGHT SPIT IN YOUR FOOD!!! And when your friend agrees that "She should spit in your food" goes to say that you have been a total bitch this entire dinning experience!!

2. To let your kid SCREAM THEIR FACE OFF and just sit and enjoy your dinner like nothing is happening. Nothing at all. Its so loud EVERYONE in the restaurant is asking if the kid is ok and you continue to eat like you can not hear it. Its rude.

3. To MAKE A HUGE mess and then not even attempt to clean it. At all. I mean did you REALLY need to THROW YOUR SHIT ON THE FLOOR? Thats for penuts at some restaurants but certainly not ours. They are CARPETS you losers get some class.

4. To tip less than %10. Really. Really if the service is bad TELL THEM but still it is not ok to leave less than %10. I would NEVER leave less than %20 but the rule is AT LEAST %10. If you can not afford to tip do not go out to dinner.

5. To have an attitude when I ask you for ID. I do not care if you are 90 years old, its against the law in my state to serve you if you physically do not have your id on your person. And its a MISDEMEANOR on my permanent record. I'm not sorry, your NOT WORTH IT TO ME!! And when you cause a BIG stink and YELL at me because I refuse to serve you, and then my manager COMPLETELY backs me up and you leave in a huff.. We all laughed at you. Yes everyone in ear shot laughed at your stupid ass.

End Rant

If you have not already entered Book #3 Giveaway.. Go here!

It is not ok!!! Version #1

* To snap your fingers at a waiter

* To WAVE your hand in the air frantically (unless you are DYING and even then I am still not sure)

* To put gum under the table

* To tip less than %10 FOR WHATEVER REASON! I tip a MIN of %20. Just because. Did you know servers only make $2.13 hour. Yep and the NEVER see any of it because it all goes to taxes. We pay taxes on %10 of our sales if you tip us or not. And if you do not tip a min of %10 IT COST US MONEY TO SERVE YOU!!

* To not look up when we come to the table, and before we introduce ourselves to BARK out what you will have to drink.

* To be rude and an asshole because you assume we can not get another job. The majority of the people at my restaurant have degrees. And we CHOOSE to work there because we either like it. Or for the money.

* To SIT AT OUT TABLE FOR 3 HOURS AFTER LEAVING A $1.50 tip. If I was alowed I would ASK YOUR ASS TO LEAVE, because with you sitting there there is no way I can get another table "company policy"

* To go out to eat AFTER 9pm. Because we hate you. Yes we smile and dream about doing something to your food (we never would) but REALLY coming in just before we lock the door and 5 people have to stay because of your dumb ass.

End Rant

The best customers all day!

So I have worked in restaurants over 20 years. I have a love hate relationship with it.

I love it for the customer aspect of it, I LOVE working with people.

I hate it for "certain" customers. They may me wonder some times how people make it through each day being SO horrible.

It all evens out, and more often than not we have more nice customers than mean customers.

At the restaurant I work at we have this one couple that comes in every week. EVERYONE that works there knows who they are. There bill is always about $80 - $100 and the reason everyone knows who they are is

THEY ALWAYS TIP 100%

So last night the hubby and I went out for dinner. It was not an $80 dinner by any means but I remember the one time I got the %100 tippers, so we left %100 tip. I explained to the hubby that we just made this girls night. We snuck out before she looked at it and I ran to the rest room, when I came back I saw our waitress and all her co-workers giving high fives, and she did a little cheerleading move.

That alone was worth it.

And we feel FABULOUS about it!

Oh to be a six year old!!

True story:

I walk up to one of my tables tonight and this little boy (who I later find out is 6 years old) asks me

"Hey you, whats your name?"

"My name is Random, what is your name?"

"Well Random MY MOMMY SPANKS ME ALOT!!!!!"

I bust out laughing so loud anyone that can see me is now staring at me, and at my table. This little boy is SO PROUD he just announced to a COMPLETE stranger that his mommy spanks him ALOT.

When I am done laughing and the shock on the mom's face has worn off, she says to the little boy.. "Tell her WHY you have been getting lots of spankings"

"I am a VERY bad boy"

Later in the evening he is waiving his hands frantically and calling my name..

"Random, random can I sing you a song?"

"Sure I would love for you to sing me a song"

"I LIKE BIG BUTS AND I CAN NOT LIE"

He did the dance and everything..... 6 years old, I wonder what he will be like in 5 years!


I need to get back to the gym.....

Busy week!!

So by the end of the day tomorrow I will have logged 68 hours for the week.

Yep I am BEAT!!

Oh and I have a funny story about drama at the restaurant job. Yeah I lost my cool, called my manager a fucking asshole, then told him he has no idea what he is doing.

Did I get fired?

No, but I tried REALLY hard and I will probably get the "talking to" about the situation from my GM and thats fine. I was right and he was wrong. I was wrong for talking to him like that and I know that, and I maybe feel a little bad about it. Maybe it was a little childish because EVERYONE heard me.

But I was right and he was being an asshole! I mean RAW food went out to my table, not once but twice. THE SAME TABLE!! And he would not buy this lady her food.
I fought him like hell about it. I even offered to pay for it out of my OWN pocket because of how wrong it really was. His defense was "I talked to her about it and shes fine"

He still made her pay for her RAW FUCKING FOOD. He would not even let me offer them free deserts. Yep the other night we had a table of 4 that ordered drinks and appetizers and when they found out we were out of a specific item they made a HUGE fuss and he paid for $60 worth of shit and they left anyways...

Yeah no logic. We feed a lady raw food 2 TIMES but because she is "fine" and does not make a huge scene we make her pay??