Hello VACATION!!!

Sooo it may have come a few days early...

My last day was supposed to be Thursday however I went in for my shift this morning and I had to leave.

When I talked about hanging up my apron strings I was DEAD SERIOUS, this idiot this morning (keeping in mind its my first table of the day) I go over to greet the table this is how it goes.

Me "Good morn....."

Jackass "Coffee, and water and I need a large glass for my water" (there are already water glasses on the table"

So I get back to the table with coffee and water

Jackass "uuhhh geezz can we get some "fresh" coffee..mubble mubble"

Me "Oh the coffee that was poured 2 minutes ago with a pot that has a hold time of 6 hours is not fresh enough for you?"


Annnnddd I hand my apron to my manager and walk out.... Yep.

Done.

3 more days was not worth my sanity. And I do not even feel bad. I mean I was not even supposed to work the last week because I had given my notice 2 months ahead of time but they were so short staffed that I agreed to stay longer...

And Done.

Beyond frustrated!!

So you know that "new job" I got at a chain restaurant.

I quit today.

Yep, they are SO unorganized that after 40 hours (which is WAY excessive for a server position) they still have me in training. **did I mention I have been doing this 20 years too?**

And its not like its a High Class 5 star restaurant. Think the cheapest chain restaurant, greasy spoon and that's where it was.

After 3 weeks.

And the owner is a LOSER!! Upon being hired I told them I could only work days, so I could change my other job around to evenings only. Well now all of a sudden after 3 weeks he is trying to tell me he needs me for nights.

Really? After 3 weeks? He also asked me to come in this morning to "discuss this" because even though we have spoken 2 weeks ago about my schedule he had no problems then?

AND THEN HE DOES NOT EVEN SHOW UP???

Jackass.

Its their loss, I left my hours and told them to call me when I can get my check.

That was COMPLETELY out of line!!

SO remember why I left me last job? You can read the long version HERE, or to sum it up in a few words.

Love my job, hated my manager and could NEVER say no.

Well when I left I promised myself NEVER to let it happen again. I would never just "suck it up" and not express my feelings. I would never again be a "yes" girl not setting my boundaries. I would never again let someone else take credit for work that I had done. And I promised to work hard at telling everyone around me they do a great job and thank you.

Anyways today at work I had a run in with one of the managers. To explain our office, I have 1 manager. She oversees all 17 of us. There is another manager who does not really have a say in what I do and oversees 6 of the people and answers to my manager.

So she asks me to do something and I "ask for clarification" on what she asked. She Immediately jumps down my throat "I DON'T CARE!!...blah blah"

I am FUMING, I swallow my pride because of coarse she YELLS it out with everyone standing around and I set out to cool off.

I give it a few minutes and I ask my manager if she can give me a minute, I walk into the "lady in question" office and I go off.

Me "That was COMPLETELY out of line, not to add TOTALLY unprofessional, it was clear I was asking for clarification it was unnecessary and out of line to speak to me like that and I do not appreciate it"

It felt so damn good. And I would do it again in a heartbeat. I just wish some time I would not get so emotional. I was fighting back tears the whole time and I was SHAKING I was so pissed.

And I let it ruin my day which is the bad part. And then I came home and headed off to the gym to RUN my ass off. I will pay for it in the morning that is for sure. But it worked.

Everything happens for a reason!

It's funny how we make some choices in our lives. And then months, sometimes years down the road we see what the "outcome" was for said event. We finally see the "whole" picture about where we found thew strength or courage to make a change even though we were scared to death about the outcome.

Remember this?

How I was scared to death but quit my job? The job that I hated but stayed at because it was the right thing to do?

Well tonight I was able to see the "whole" picture. I ran into one of the ladies I worked with. She was next in charge to my immediate manager.

The company I left is going under....23 of the 45 people at corporate have been laid off. (would have included my position) They have sold 19 stores and are closing 15 more at the end of the month.

I am sad for the people I worked with, some that I have kept in touch with and was wondering why emails had not been returned.....

But in reality it makes me feel better about leaving. I made the choice to leave and was not laid off, I was not put into a position where I was unexpectedly jobless.

And it was for the better..... And now I see

Always trust your gut!

Funny thing happened today at lunch. One of the ladies that I previously worked with came in for lunch and we had a good chat. She was someone that I would talk to often and I thought fondly of. She was one of the ladies when I said "I'm hanging on for the other position" told me to get my head out of the clouds because that would never happen.

Anyways. I still have not been replaced. Nope, not even interviews. Interesting? No? I thought so. So it just goes to show that my guts were true to me once more.....


OK WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY BLOG??? I was hoping it would re-appear? Too much to ask for... I am about to cry now.... WHAT HAPPENED?? I have not changed anything or anything.....

**sniff**sniff***

Now I need 2 new blog skins.. Anyone recommend anyone????? HELP!!

Time to think about me...

So I finally did it.

I left my job with no intentions on going back. Ever.

Yesterday was a hard day for me, a LONG time ago when I was working for a company I was not happy with, a manager I was not happy with, life in general at that time was interesting. Anyways one morning when I was going out the door to work I all of a sudden felt sick, my heart started to almost beat out of my chest, I got dizzy and started having chest pains.
Well I had not lived at home for years but they first person I call is my mom. She is there in mock speed and I am rush to the emergency room.
MASSIVE panic attack. Yep. Crazy. I am not one to usually to play the drama queen and this was very scary and very real. My dr gave me some meds after "observing" me for a couple of days and I was aloud to go home when it was established I was not a threat to myself or others...
Lead up to yesterday. My manager has been out of town all week and was due back this morning... About 10am I started having chest pains. I started to sweet and my heart was racing. I call the husband.
"Babe, remember WAY back when I told you about the panic attack I had FOREVER ago?"

"Yeah, why"

"Well I am going to leave today and not come back, I have just barfed and my heart is beating out of my chest, I have the shakes and I feel that same way I did that morning..."

"I love you babe, you need to do what you need to do. I love you"

So with that I went back to my desk, got my things told the next in charge that I was going home sick and then this morning I left a message for my manager to call me when she was in the office so I could come in a talk to her.

I will not go back in I will talk to her on the phone and pick up my things on Monday.

I feel sick just waiting for the call... And I also feel guilty for being this irresponsible....

*** Edit to add... I just talked to her.. She says she understands COMPLETELY!! It was so strange but such a HUGE relief.. I go in @ 2pm to "talk" and to get things in order. After barfing all morning and worrying about this its all about to be over... wish me luck***